High Schoolers.

Hello Internet-

I have been stuck in an odd situation. I don't really know what to do, nor do I know how to explain how stupid people can be.

First of all, I graduated high school a semester early to get away from the stupid drama, fights, and immaturity of the people I was suffocated by. So excited to start over, I am now finding people take a lot longer to change then me. A 20 year old friend I swear is acting like she's in maybe 9th grade. I mean, Seriously?


The problem with her is, she has all these insecurities, but because she is so insecure denies there is anything wrong with her to everyone else. Puts on this mask and walks around like her shit don't stink, and then when someone calls her out on it- it's their fault (aka me.)

A great girl, A LOT a head of her, if she just woke up and smelled the roses. Some how her insecurities and her being a shitty friend lately, aka ignoring me when I was in a bathroom with her for 15 minutes talking with the people she was with and she didn't say a word to me. I said hi and she said nothing. Then I wake up to a text message the next morning asking me if I was there. Seriously?!

Haven't talked to her all last week then texts me to put in a good word for her to my friend. Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I almost died. I do not do anything for people who I don't think deserve it. A friend I will do anything for- and when I say anything I mean anything.

So conversation goes on, and somehow it all turns around on me (typical) and because I have a boyfriend and talk to him about mine and her conversations it is my fault. Well this makes sense.

I don't understand Internet. I mean, I know I think differently than a lot of people, act different, am more mature than a lot of people my age- but seriously?!

How stupid can people really be?! How the fuck is this my fault because I talk to my boyfriend?! I mean, agree with me or not- but that just seems like she's more fucked up in the head than she leads on. More insecurities than she wants me to see. But, I'm not blind.

My point of this post Internet, is similar to last. Don't get stuck in the petty high school shit. If you are in high school, enjoy it while your there, if you are in college- WAKE UP! You are in college. That is a chapter behind you; you don't need the gossip and the petty stupid bull shit. If you are out of college; I hope you have grown and learned enough to realize high school is way way way past you!

I have been listening to this song Hands by Jewel lately-


"If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all OK. And not to worry, cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these." - Jewel

And that's what I want you to think about. Why Worry? What does worrying do to us Internet? It ruins us, gives us insecurities, and takes away the beautiful people inside of us. If you are worrying, try to just let it slip away. If not, there is always a way to vent it out and get it away.

optimisticvoice@yahoo.com

-Miss Optimistic

Figure it out on your own

Hello Internet-

So, I'm not even sure if anyone is even really reading this other than my followers- but like I said in my very first post, it is not about who is following or who is reading this, it is about getting my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs for other people to see; if they chose to do so.

I learned a lesson yesterday. I mean, I learn lessons every day, that's life, but I learned a valuable one I already knew. When something is going wrong you can't have someone else tell you that it's not right, you need to see that it is wrong in order to correctly fix it.

Do not be blind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has that one person that has that magical power over us. That magical power could possibly start blinding us to the life you started, make things gray and fuzzy again. That power so strong you can't deny it. What I realized, is that powers can be over come.

We need to realize that old habits are old habits. You can't change or be different if you are always falling into bad habits. For example. An alcoholic- always an alcoholic, hence why they can't drink ever again once they go sober.

An ex is always going to be an ex. If you shared some sort of bond with them it will always come back. But I will tell you now, do not let someone else ruin what you have in your life. If it is good- keep it, if it's bad get rid of it.

Internet, I know you are smart. Just be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of what makes you happy. Be aware of what you are doing wrong or right. It isn't a bad thing if you are doing things wrong- you are just being human.

So Internet- Last thing I want to say to you, figure your flaws out on your own. Don't let people tell you who you are or who you aren't. Secondly, find that love within yourself. If you don't love yourself you won't be able to let people in to love you as well.

Have a wonderful day everyone,
-Miss Optimistic

Don't be a Whiner!

http://www.eaglestalent.com/videos.asp?s=1833&v=1&vt=1srq

Watch this video.

Don't be a complainer, be a problem solver.

-Miss Optimistic

The "R" Factor.

Hello Internet:

Today started out good. Slept in late, almost missed my first class, yet again :-). But for some reason I forced myself out of bed, and made myself get to class. Sit through class, had a quiz, leave early, go talk to another teacher about material on our test on Monday, go to Starbucks.

As I'm waiting in the ridiculously long line at the coffee shop, I was texting (no surprise there). A man to my right goes, "I guess it's the thing to do: text in line?"

Confused at the small talk he was trying to make I replied, "Excuse me?" Really I just didn't hear him. So, he repeated himself. Then goes into detail are you a student here? What's your major? I replied. Then I asked what he was doing here, visiting?

This man replies, no I work with a management company and am giving a speech at your school today.

(my eyes widen...considering my plan in college is to dual major in management. HELLO!!!! RED FLAG WAVING!! PAY ATTENTION!)

So as I ask more about what he's going to be talking about we get into this 30 minute conversation about life pretty much. I mean he was talking about his "business" and the theories he has with his business, but all awhile it all intertwined with the book I talk so highly about The Secret.

So anyway, he explains to me: Three men can go through the same experience. One man can go through it and lose sight of who he is. Get defeated by the tragedy that just happened. The loss in his business if you will. Another man may go through the same experience and not be moved by it. The business stays consistent. The third man goes through the same experience and thrives from this tragedy. Learns from it and makes his business successful.

(Sounds to me like he's talking about not just business but life.)

So we get to the line, order drinks, etc. While we wait I had to ask.

"Have you ever read this book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne?"

His response:

"I always read. I have read everything, but my only problem with The Secret, is I don't think it's about the law of attraction and wanting things to come to you. I think it's about the person being effective, and being aware of their life. (HOLY SHIT THIS MAN UNDERSTANDS MY MIND!!!!- is what was going through my mind.) It's funny because a lot of people are just oblivious to their flaws, their strengths, what their doing in their life; they just don't realize who they are. The thing is, is people try to criticize, to help, and people see it as bad and get defensive. If people accepted the criticism and were more aware and effective with how they ran their life people would be much happier and successful. When I was talking before about the situation and the three men, there are always going to be negatives and positives in our lives. It's how we maneuver around all these obstacles that make us either a successful person or a not successful person."


The man is so right. By the way, his name I later found out is Tim Kight. Check out his website- may be some useful information.

www.focus3.biz

And, he also told me about this book he's coming out with called- you guessed it.

"The R Factor"

LOOK FOR IT ON BOOK SHELVES I PROMISE YOU THIS MAN KNOWS WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!


But think about it, we always are looking at the negative things, and not the positives in the situation. Like I have talked about death before, so did he. He said people need to start using that as a way to better themselves. Basically, see the optimistic side to things.

After the long chit chat, He says: "Maybe our paths will cross again".


NOW!! If I have learned anything from The Secret, is that things happen for a reason. Whether you attract them to yourself or not.

I was supposed to have that conversation, and supposed to be at starbucks and be late to help a friend for that reason. Life works in funny ways Internet.

Start looking at how things are kinda just handed to you. Start paying attention to the little things, because BIG things could happen from them.

Enjoy the day Internet...I am :-)

-Miss Optimistic

This book.

Hello Internet-
So I have been hidden in a book lately. "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. I think I have talked about it before, but lately I have actually had time to read more than 10 pages. I recommend people read it. The thing she stresses is how life isn't over when we feel it is.

"We are raised in a culture that fears death and hides it from us. Nevertheless, we experience it all the time. We experience it in the form of disappointment, in the form of things not working out. We experience it in the form of things always being in a process of change. When the day ends, when the second ends, when we breathe out, that's death in every day life. Death in everyday life could also be defined as experiencing all the things that we don't want...When we have reminders of death, we panic. But whatever our style is, it's not simple. It's not bare bones."(pg 43-44)

One of my close friends' grandfather passed away from cancer this past week. We live to die, we all know this. Yet we fear the idea of death. The idea of things ending. I don't get why we fear it so much, because with every death comes life. When the day ends, tomorrow is a new one; when the second ends, there are more to follow; when we breathe out, we breathe in shortly after. That's life in everyday life.

The thing about Death is, we fear it because no one shines the light on such an optimistic topic. Death is the only way we get something new. We have a bad day, tomorrow will be better. With each death comes life, and THAT is everyday life.

So Internet- when we start seeing death in our lives, think about the life that comes from them.

-Miss Optimistic

Is the fight worth it?

Hello Internet-

I ask you maybe again, maybe for the first time, to look around. Look at the boy sitting all by himself with his head hidden in a book. Look at the pretty girls who you always see together and only with them, never with anyone else. Look at the multicultural people who work together and help each other, and pretty much only each other. Most importantly, look at yourself, and where you fit into society.

I told someone today, my generation pisses me off. The thing about my generation is we are so inconsiderate, disrespectful, and just rude. We rarely hold doors for other people, we spread out at a table so no one else can sit there, we use derogatory terms, and most importantly have lost that old fashioned respect we have for one another.

I understand that I am one of very few who think the way I do, and barely anyone in my generation has these irritations and dislikes for how they act. They don't even care to be honest. They don't even pay attention to how people talk to each other, act with each other, etc.

I have come a very far way from who I was. I am very optimistic, hence my name, and open to everything. It is very hard to be around pessimistic energies when I used to be so negative about everything, and now rarely see the bad side to things. I have this problem of having way too high of expectations. For friends, boyfriends, coworkers, really everyone. I don't think that people in my life should be perfect, because we all have flaws, but I don't see how it is so hard that when you care about or love something why you wouldn't want to respect them, be considerate, understand, and try to make them grow.

The way I see life: when it is pouring, the sun is still shining through, when it's thundering there is always sunshine at the end of the storm, and when it's shining you couldn't have more beauty surrounding us.

I understand people will see that when it's pouring it is pouring, that when it's thundering it is thundering, and when the sun shining it is just sunny out. I understand people are not as optimistic and loving as I am, but I don't see why people wouldn't want to live their life in peace and love as much as they can.

The only time I argue, is if someone argues with me (I get defensive), or if I am passionate about something. IF Internet, you are passionate about something, why would you not want to fight for it? Why do you think they have groups against the war, same sex marriages and relationships, race, religion, etc. Because our country is based off of freedom. Where we have the right of speech, and we can voice our opinions.

I was told the other night "It's funny cause when a guy sleeps with 10 girls that's like kinda cool, but when you hear that from a girl, when she's slept with 10 guys, it just like I don't know." I want to know why, for a guy it is their "right" to feel they have to be more masculine, why they HAVE to be the one teaching, why they are supposed to be respected more than the woman. Where in our fucked up society has all of this bull shit become acceptable? Our country has fought so hard for equal rights and still discrimination, sexism, etc. continue today.

So I ask you Internet- Was the fight worth it? Were all the wars, the arguments, the debates worth where we are today? What bothers you about our society today? Or am I just over exaggerating?

After reading this...look around again, look at the multicultural group of kids that are ALWAYS helping each other regardless of if they just met or are old friends, look at the girls who just don't get it and still think cliques are cool, look at the lonely boy who doesn't want to deal with the bull shit our society has handed us. And again, lastly look at yourself. Where do you fit in Internet? Where are you in society? Are you with me in thinking that people need to stop being so stupid and realize that peace and love is the only way to live a happy life. Or are you the type of person who just writes everyone off and is negative? Either way is not wrong...just think.

-Miss Optimistic

Never Know.

Hello Internet-

So today is a blah day. BEAUTIFUL out, but hot as hell. Why so blah? It's funny, life has a way of giving you things you weren't expecting. Something so perfect and so strong could in the blink of an eye break and seem so flawed. But isn't that the point? For life to give you this great thing and then pull it away?

It's kinda funny though, it's like life is constantly telling us to keep a look out, and to never feel too comfortable. Because life is ALWAYS changing. And I know I have talked about this in previous posts, but today that is all I can think about. The moment we get too comfortable, everything switches and then it doesn't feel comfortable anymore.

Ultimately, it'll all be okay, and we should know that. It always ends up being okay anyway. It's like that quote I hear a lot too "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

So Internet, I think I just need to enjoy the sun, enjoy my day, and remember- life goes on.

-Miss Optimistic

Horoscope...

Hello Internet:

It's been a while, huh?

I woke up this morning, back hurting, stomach sore, tired, and confused. I have an application on my iphone for horoscopes, and decided to read it.

"People are apt to be as stubborn as you in their thinking today, Scorpio. This could be a recipe for disaster if you aren't careful. Open the floodgates a bit wider and take in more of the opinions of others. Don't automatically assume that other people have to conform to your viewpoint to resolve an issue. More than likely, there needs to be some give and take from all involved."

I had to laugh, how much more coincidental can you get. But in all seriousness, not just because my boyfriend and I tend to have different thoughts...and are both stubborn and one may forget about the other or be inconsiderate or what have you. That's normal.

The thing is, I'm not trying to bash him at all, just saying think about it. We expect people to change and form to "our lifestyles" but never think about forming to anyone else's. I don't mean to brag, but I have changed quite a bit in the fact that I will drop what I'm doing for my boyfriend, and sometimes I feel the favors are not returned. But, it's not just him.

Last night I went and celebrated a Sedar, no I'm not Jewish, not Catholic, not really anything, I was raised to believe whatever I thought. This amazing girl I met read this poem about her mother. How she just wished her mom could see and feel what she does, massage therapy. That her mom could understand what she does for people, and the power that her hands give people. I was talking to her after and was like I have never been more moved by something, and it just made so much sense.

Later on in the evening, we were all talking about how people just don't give a shit anymore. And think about it, when will people drop what they are doing for you? Rarely right. Mostly family will. I told the people in the room, something like...

"It comes with maturity. Immaturity is when you only think about yourself and when someone needs you you can't do it cause you are worrying about yourself. MATURITY is thinking about yourself and putting yourself first, but the moment someone around you needs you or shows some sign of vulnerability, realizes they need to put themselves aside for the moment. Maturity is realizing you are important, but you are not the only one living."

It's funny lately I have been having these pains in my stomach...and my friend asked how long has it been going on? I say on and off about 2-3 weeks. My boyfriend says, " this week has been the first time I have ever heard her complain about it."

But here is the thing, yes, I may be getting sharp stabbing pains in the middle of my abdomen, but when it's once or twice it's fine I'll get over it. I don't need to complain about it, because there are people suffering much worse on the inside then me. When it continues for a while, and I feel like I can't walk, and am in EXCRUCIATING pain, that is the time I bring it up.

The point of this post Internet, is realize the people around you. I challenge you to grow as a person; put yourself first, but realize there are other people around you. If someone you care about looks upset or in pain, you can drop yourself for a minute.

Open your eyes half way. The half closed is that wall for yourself. That strength you show others you have. And the open half is the vulnerability you have to others. Embrace people when they need someone, and put your shoulder down when your ego is too high for them to reach.

Love every ray of sunshine that comes your way.

-Miss Optimistic.

Dream of Happiness?

Hello Internet:

At a loss for a post today again. I never understood what my older sister meant when she said she couldn't write music when she was happy. It's funny though because I can't remember the last time I was this happy- and I stop analyzing things and thinking. I just live more- go with the flow more.

But, because I am happy, doesn't mean I can't write about that. I went online and found motivational quotes- and one really stuck out to me surprisingly enough.

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
Leon J. Suenes

I guess a lot of this is going to talk about consequences over all. Because when we all make choices, consequences come with them, whether they be good or bad. My boyfriend is a singer/song writer, and I told him, if he wants it badly enough- he will do whatever he can to make sure he gets it. And it's true. If you want something bad enough, you will do a lot and sacrifice a lot in order to get there.

I am not talking about stepping over people to get where you wanna be, I am saying if you want it you have to make choices. A wise artist : Bruce Springsteen once said, "Talk about a dream, try to make it real." And that is exactly what I am trying to sum up.

Dreaming of happiness and doing something is one thing- but it's the people that DO and make sacrifices that ultimately are the ones that are happy in the end.

So Internet: I ask, what is it you want and what are you willing to do to get it or get there?

-Miss Optimistic

What's in three little words?

Hello Internet:

So, as you know my days inspire my posts..and today is going to be a bit different. Something that is supposed to be so pure and such a beautiful thing I want you all to see it from my view.

The three words: "I love you"

What do they mean? I really care, te amo, any other language...(I only know Spanish, haha) there can be so many meanings to these three little words. The people who I have ever said these words to are my family, my dog, and my closest friends. I have said it to one boy, but the thing is, is I said it to him long before we were together when we were best friends. We loved each other, but I was definitely not in love with him.

A wise man once told me, I love you, but I'm not in love with you, and when he said that...it all made sense. I really loved my ex-boyfriend, but I just wasn't IN love with him. I thought the "butterflies" I felt were good, but it was a safety I loved. I was in love with the fact that I could depend on him, that he would "always" be there. I was in love with the idea of being in love with him, and because of that I couldn't Love him.

My point: Why do we use these words? Can we not express our "love" in action? "I love you" I have noticed is taken so lightly. People throw it around like it is nothing. We all feel emotions. Some feel faster than others just like some mature faster than others.

We get so caught up in our words- that a lot of the times, our actions don't follow. People get so caught up in impressing and trying to draw people in. We are all so obsessed with this idea of "Love" that we forget what it actually is.

Coming from a lady who has never been in love, but has used the words lightly- if you don't feel it- don't say it. Those four letters are stronger than you may know.

Love is a strong emotion- it makes people go insane and sometimes do stupid things. If you are in a relationship, and you say I love you to each other- I am not questioning your motives- but saying Internet, do you really mean it? Do you get those fishies in your stomach that swim like crazy? When they touch you does your heart race? Do you smile when you just think about them? Do you realize that you are just better when you are around the person? Do you feel safe in their arms? Think about all the feelings you feel around them and ask yourself- do you honestly feel your in love?

I had no idea what I was looking for- I had no idea what all these things meant, until today. I realized I love my boyfriend. :-) I am no longer just another girl- I am his, and only his. Love comes with a lot more responsibility then we may understand- and I am ready for that. Because even though he's messy, and I'm organized, and he wants to grow his hair out and I want him to cut it, and he smokes and I want him to stop. Somewhere in between the tickle fights and the boring lectures we never pay attention in I have fallen for an amazing guy, and love every minute of it.

So Internet- My point is...don't be in love with the idea of being in love. Just love, and it'll come to you when you least expect it.

-Miss Optimistic <3

YOU are your own best friend?

Hello Internet:

My sister gave me this book called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. Because I was so busy for a while I never got the chance to pick it up and dive in, until this week. Her second chapter jogged me back to last year, when I read "The Secret" and realized, we need to stop worrying so much about other people- and worry about ourselves.

"A teacher visited during this time, and I remember her saying to me, 'When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly too.' I had learned this lesson before, and I knew that it was the only way to go. I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: 'Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.' Somehow, even before I heard the Buddhist teachings, I knew that this was the spirit of true awakening. It was all about letting go of everything. Nevertheless, when the bottom falls out and we can't find anything to grasp, it hurts a lot. It's like the Naropa Institute motto: 'Love of the truth puts you on the spot.' We might have some romantic view of what that means, but when we are nailed with the truth, we suffer. We look in the bathroom mirror, and there we are with our pimples, our aging face, our lack of kindness, our aggression and timidity-- all that stuff."

It's funny when you read this- it's all like yea yea yea tell me something I don't know. But I tell you Internet: Read it again and again, until you feel what she is saying here.

She is telling you yes- it hurts to hit the bottom, she is telling you yes- honesty may be painful, and she is telling us yes- we should be easy-going and just let things go.

But beyond all of that, she is saying look at yourself. Look at who you are and where you came from. Your falls, your strengths, your weaknesses, everything. You can not befriend someone and love someone if you don't love yourself. And when I read this passage, I think I realized why I never really had a boyfriend, nor have I ever felt this thing people call "love". Throughout middle school and high school I suffered more than I ever wanted to. Cutting, weed, backstabbing bitches, lies, people using me, it all just added up into me not loving myself. Every little thing someone did to me, I would look in the mirror and it was like I kept getting uglier and darker.

But, it took me getting hurt the most and having to stand up on my own, and learn to love myself that makes me so loving and open today. As I have talked about in previous posts, the one person who stood by me through everything decided he needed his own space, which I gave, and he didn't think I would have given. A few nights I would call my mom crying, telling her this or that that I just was so upset blah blah blah. And then I remembered the Secret. I remembered how it's not about others- it is about this beautiful creature looking back at me in the mirror.

"When one door closes, another opens." I closed a door to my past, and opened a door to my future. You know it's funny. I came home for break and went back to the unstable environment that got me into drugs and more hatred towards myself, but this time it was different. This time I was "good friends with myself." And each day I went there, each day that went by, and each day that goes by I love myself more and more.

And when I think about it that way, because of the love I give myself, I have opened myself up to an amazing man. My walls are down, and I love every minute of it. I love how he makes me feel, and I love who I am when I am around him. I have never had this before, because I have never loved myself before.

So Internet: What I am trying to say is, although I preach to love and be open to others- you first need to open up to yourself and love yourself. Because without you there will be no story, and there will be no reason. Your life is all you have, and will always have. Live for each day, and remember there should be at least someone who does love you- yourself.

-Miss Optimistic

Taking it back

Hello Internet:

I came across a quote today:

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
-Mother Teresa


I want to say that if I still judged people the way me and my friend used to, I would not be friends, nor would I be with the man I am with today. My boyfriend said in the beginning, I always thought those smiles were because you thought I was weird, or you felt sorry for me or something like that.

He thought I was judging, when in reality, I just wanted to talk to him and get to know him cause he seemed cool. Had I seen him 5-7 years ago, I would've never talked to him and never wanted to get to know him. But, I am glad things changed, because I could not be happier. :-)

I was watching America's Next Top Model tonight, and this pretty girl, tattoos, lip piercings (snake bites) and a bull ring I forget what that is called, and she got cut. Yet they said in the judging room she has great face blah blah blah. And she said at the end " I wanted to talk to Tyra for just 5 seconds and ask, 'what did you not like about me?'"

And this kinda coincides with another post I think I did a few weeks ago, but it is true. We see weirdness and don't want to be around it. I just wish our world was less judgmental and more full of love.

There are things in this world that are soo beautiful, but people see are so ugly.

So Internet: I challenge you, to not just find beauty in "beauty" but find beauty in "ugliness" and you will be surprised as to what you find.

-Miss Optimistic

"Follow the Leader"

Hello Internet:

I have learned a very valuable lesson today, just like any other really, but today was different. I am the kind of person to trust too easily. I see a person and I get along with them and the last thing that crosses my mind is that this person would do something to fuck me over.

But, as life goes on and the world gets realer- you have to stop to take notice of how many people just walk their way to the top. A hundred bucks there, three hundred here, oh, I could just pay someone to do it...blah blah blah. The thing about money is, is that people with money (for the most part) are the followers. They watch other people, analyze, observe and make sure they have it down pat. That they do exactly what the people with money do, so they too can have more money and be more successful.

Even though I may come off this sweet innocent "I love everything" kinda girl, the thing I hate most is being taken advantage of. And THE LAST person I thought would take advantage of me some how did. HAHA. All the money his heart desires, all the girls he could persuade to get into his bed, alcohol stocked $500.00 a bottle, his own place, $62,000 car on a school campus, lets get real. We all have our first impressions, but normally I try to see past the uncomfortable I don't know how to act around you's. So that's what I did, he paid for my dinners anything my heart desired was mine pretty much haha, and I met him a week ago.

It's funny though cause when you see this guy with all this money, and everything seems so "perfect" you kinda wanna "follow the leader". It is natural for us all to do, what's he doing so well that I'm not? How does he have this money and my bank account quickly reaches a low balance? Why is he here? What does he do? You start asking these questions, cause you want to know, you want to do that; when life is just so easy and a credit card or a couple hundred bills are folded in our pocket- "life is gooooooood!" :-)

My boyfriend- not the biggest fan of this guy. HAHA! I tried to reassure him: you have to get to know him he's a good guy blah blah blah more bull shit. :-) He told me: "I can't compete with him. I don't have that kinda money".

My response was something along the lines of... "I don't care about the money, this right here, is something that NO MONEY can buy. If you are worried about competing with this guy?! You should be worried about my father, because he knows how to spoil and spend- (IN A RESPONSIBLE WISE WAY)"

The thing we tend to forget is how to lead. Let's think about it...I followed for about a week, I wanted to be involved in this life that seemed so perfect, there were no heart aches, no emotion, it was simple, it was clean, and it was fun.

I just say this Internet: NEVER FOLLOW. And I know how hard it is to just straight up not follow, try not to follow. Because I followed and I trusted him so much, potentially just fucked myself- completely unintentionally.

He's a good guy, but when it comes to it, he just follows all the time! Pays people to do his shit for him, never takes responsibility, and most importantly, blames everyone else for his mistakes. The three most IMmature and ugly qualities I think a person can have.

Luckily, I am honest, I do things myself (how else could one feel accomplished?), and most importantly I own up to my mistakes. As much as I can I lead: I like to show people the life they could be living. To not be so stubborn, open your heart, but not too much.

Just know, you have never lived if you have never hurt.

-Optimistic Voice.

What's the point...if you don't try...

Hello Internet:

Quick post today, I just want you all to think about something. Everything that has meant something in your life, were you given or did you have to work for?

For me, I have always worked for everything that means something to me. I love a challenge, and always have. Whether it be with education, boys, anything. And you know what I realized this last week, I have been stressing and freaking out over too much to do and too little time to do it in. Last night I worked for 12 hours straight, understanding, then not understanding, then figuring out these god damn problems that I have NO idea why I am doing them. I just need to know HOW to do them, haha. Ultimately, I kept dreaming I was still doing these problems and studying the material with my friends for this exam today.

Not that that whole tid-bit matters, but I'm saying, the grade I get on this test will feel so good, because for once in my life I spent so much time ACTUALLY working for this grade, because I do want to excel in this class.

Internet I challenge you to stop taking things so easily. If you want that A on the test WORK for it. If you want that boy's arm around you- go get him! Nothing is stopping us but ourselves.

So I ask you again, What's the point if you don't try?

-Miss Optimistic

Black and White

Hello Internet:

So, I started thinking today while I was waiting in the health center to only get told I have bronchitis symptoms, how much easier life would be if it was black and white. No grays, no hazy white, or dull blacks. Just this is what it is, and this is what I want, and I got it.

The thing is- There are always grays, there are always hazy whites, and there are always dull blacks. I found a drawing today my ex boyfriend/best friend had drawn for me. It was a sunset with a boat sailing into it. On the back, said this is to symbolize you and me moving forward. Our amazing bond will never break, because you and me have something too special. You will always be mine- I want you and no one else.

Something like that.

Funny thing is, is a few weeks after he had sent me that, our relationship deteriorated, and our friendship started falling apart. My heart ached for days and days, this painful throb in my chest never seemed to stop. It pounded with each footstep I took and each breath that entered my lungs. The one thing that kept me holding on for so many years had vanished from my life.

I look back on it, and the only thing that actually kept us together was this "love" we shared. This bond we had where we just knew we literally had no one else. It was only me he could come to, only me he would want to be with, only me he could run to. It was White. It all was angelic and what I thought was this perfect friendship, this perfect love. Once the hazy whites sunk in is when my heart started breaking.

It seems life is much simpler if it is all in black and white, much less painful. This girl started talking to me about this situation with this stupid ignorant boy. Here he let this amazing girl go, and then goes flaunting other girls he's all over in front of her. I'm not sure when this dull black became acceptable in society, but I will say one thing.

The haziest days are always the hardest to pull through, but when we have that white or black to hold our hands along the way it makes it a little easier.

Our hearts are going to ache and hurt regardless of if we want them to. I can tell myself day after day this ex best(boy) friend is out of my mind, out of my life, but with every day my mind goes back to him my heart aches for him.

There is always that hole in our lives, that hazy white, or that dull black that taunts us. That says life is not perfect. But, there is always that one thing that some how magically fills that hole and makes your life pure and white.

I thought my life would never be white again, but my consistent gratitude and my positive mind gave me this gift I now can call mine. This hole that has been filled. Sure, I still have those moments of grays, where life seems so complicated and so incomplete, but my point of this blog post Internet is to show you that although things may seem worse at the time. There is always a better tomorrow that you can create.

-Miss Optimistic