The Most Difficult Times

Hello Internet-

Sorry it has been a while, I spent the weekend at my boyfriend's home. Not only have I fallen in love with him, but I am in love with his family too. HA! But anywho, I leave for Ecuador in 4 days and am very nervous. I am scared to leave for the month, but can not wait to grow and experience things. I guess we will see how it all unveils.

But- for the my thoughts of today.

"The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves. Yet it's never too late or too early to practice loving-kindness. It's as if we had a terminal disease but might live for quite a while. Not knowing how much time we have left, we might begin to think it was important to make friends with ourselves and others in the remaining hours, months, or years." - From "When Things Fall Apart".

We are so caught up in running around and trying to finish and complete all these tasks we forget to just relax. We build these emotions and thoughts in our heads to become more than what they are.

"Our personal demons come in many guises. We experience them as shame, as jealousy, as abandonment, as rage. They are anything that makes us so uncomfortable that we continually run away."

The weird thing about humans is we build drama, and then we run from it. So, how does that make sense? We want the ugly and we want the disease as Lady Gaga says in her song Bad Romance, but then we don't want to actually deal with it.

But why Internet? Why can't we just leave what is as it is? It's like- we always need something to be going on. Great. I am soooo glad that shitty T.V. has taught us that drama should always be going on, but when we think about it- drama is EXHAUSTING!!!!!!! It stresses me out, I can't focus, I'm emotional- how is that some one I'd want to be...oh yea, it's not.

"Like the tides of the sea, like day and night--this is the nature of things. Being able to appreciate, being able to look closely, being able to open our minds--this is the core of maturity."

We need to stop creating things that aren't there. I have made many mistakes in over exaggerating situations. For example, my boyfriend tells me umm I dunno 3 months after the actual situation happened that he lied and actually met up with his ex over spring break. UMM WHAT?!- was my initial reaction. My mind went straight to my dad- he's gonna leave me just like every other man in my life. He's gonna find something better, well my dad found work not some one else but...when I think about it- the guys in my life never really left me...I pushed them away. I made a huge deal out of something stupid.

Then of course, for a while when he went out I would kinda question him- oh who'd you go with? Did you really go to the movies with your parents? Our minds are non-stop- they never slow down!

So Internet- that is my challenge to you. SLOW DOWN. Enjoy the details in life, enjoy the man or woman that is by your side. Don't create more than you need in your life. If he hasn't called he doesn't want to talk. Take another day to yourself and just reflect. Go for a walk- breathe in the sweet summer air, look at the beautiful colors summer has given Earth, and feel the gravel; dirt; concrete; and/or grass under your feet. You have five senses- use them.

-Miss Optimistic

High Schoolers.

Hello Internet-

I have been stuck in an odd situation. I don't really know what to do, nor do I know how to explain how stupid people can be.

First of all, I graduated high school a semester early to get away from the stupid drama, fights, and immaturity of the people I was suffocated by. So excited to start over, I am now finding people take a lot longer to change then me. A 20 year old friend I swear is acting like she's in maybe 9th grade. I mean, Seriously?


The problem with her is, she has all these insecurities, but because she is so insecure denies there is anything wrong with her to everyone else. Puts on this mask and walks around like her shit don't stink, and then when someone calls her out on it- it's their fault (aka me.)

A great girl, A LOT a head of her, if she just woke up and smelled the roses. Some how her insecurities and her being a shitty friend lately, aka ignoring me when I was in a bathroom with her for 15 minutes talking with the people she was with and she didn't say a word to me. I said hi and she said nothing. Then I wake up to a text message the next morning asking me if I was there. Seriously?!

Haven't talked to her all last week then texts me to put in a good word for her to my friend. Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I almost died. I do not do anything for people who I don't think deserve it. A friend I will do anything for- and when I say anything I mean anything.

So conversation goes on, and somehow it all turns around on me (typical) and because I have a boyfriend and talk to him about mine and her conversations it is my fault. Well this makes sense.

I don't understand Internet. I mean, I know I think differently than a lot of people, act different, am more mature than a lot of people my age- but seriously?!

How stupid can people really be?! How the fuck is this my fault because I talk to my boyfriend?! I mean, agree with me or not- but that just seems like she's more fucked up in the head than she leads on. More insecurities than she wants me to see. But, I'm not blind.

My point of this post Internet, is similar to last. Don't get stuck in the petty high school shit. If you are in high school, enjoy it while your there, if you are in college- WAKE UP! You are in college. That is a chapter behind you; you don't need the gossip and the petty stupid bull shit. If you are out of college; I hope you have grown and learned enough to realize high school is way way way past you!

I have been listening to this song Hands by Jewel lately-


"If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all OK. And not to worry, cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these." - Jewel

And that's what I want you to think about. Why Worry? What does worrying do to us Internet? It ruins us, gives us insecurities, and takes away the beautiful people inside of us. If you are worrying, try to just let it slip away. If not, there is always a way to vent it out and get it away.

optimisticvoice@yahoo.com

-Miss Optimistic