Let's play the "Blame Game"

Hello Internet-< /br> < /br>One thing I have learned from friendships and relationships in general, is we always like to play the blame game. Why? Does it give us satisfaction to tell the other how they fucked up when we are the ones getting in trouble? I try to not bring up past examples into an argument, but if I feel they are relevant I always do. What is the point? Why is it we cannot let go of things that affect us in some way? Is it because they affected us then, or now, and we just let it go because the other one wanted us to, and not because WE were ready to let it go.< /br> < /br>So I have this problem. A friend of mine did something and it's just eating away at me, and I have no idea why. They keep saying- let it go it's stupid, and my heart keeps twisting and killing me more. I have had many posts about how letting go is one of the most important steps to being happy, so why can't I let this go? Why is it this one thing that is slowly eroding my insides, like a river erodes at the earth below it. And, why is it so important to the other person for it to just be let go? Clearly, I am keeping this vague for a reason.< /br> < /br>My point is: we all let go at some time, but what is the better time Internet? To let go when someone tells you to, or to let go when you are ready to? And is there even a difference?< /br> < /br>But, one of the most important rules in any relationship, friendship, or acquaintance....never play the blame game. What is the point in bringing up what the other has done? If they mean something to you too- does it make you feel better to watch them suffer or be sad? Cause when one of my friends or someone I love is sad or suffering, I become sad and hurt for them. More important- when did the blame game become so natural? Ugh...society.< /br> I don't know- comment/thoughts below.< /br> -Miss Optimistic

Two types of people

Hello Internet-< br/> < br/>There are two types of people in this world, those that do things and expect things in return, and those that do things and expect nothing. Love comes from wanting to do something just from the thought of doing it, not because of what you will get out of it. We are constantly looking for something else, but why can we not give just to give?< br/> < br/>From experience, if you give something with the idea of getting something in return, most likely you get nothing, or you get shit. Both you are pretty disappointed with. So here is my challenge to you: Give to give. Seeing someone else happy should be enough of a reward for you. Plus with the holiday season near, everyone could use a little pick me up :).< br/> < br/>Much love,< br/> -Miss Optimistic

Change is always around the corner.

Hello Internet-

As my journey winds to an end, there have been some things that have been a common topic of conversation. The main one: Change. Now, I have written about change before in this blog, whether you follow me or not you already know, but I found a quote that may help explain why and what I mean by accept change.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” - Charles Darwin

Now, I doubt Darwin was straight up talking about humans here...but he's got a point. I mean if you think about it- Darwinism is the reason, or could be the reason, why we are all here...because our ancestors at one point were able to survive through the changes that were occurring. Why are we so afraid of change? I have yet to understand, becuase the greatest moments in my life have been when I have embraced change.

Change: U.S. to Ecuador for 5 weeks. Not only was I embracing change, but the experienced CHANGED ME. Once something changes you, wouldn't you want something different anyway? People like their schedules and they like knowing what's coming next- but honestly where is that fun. There is no adventure and there isn't that antsy feeling. One thing we really do need to accept is change is coming. Our world is changing. From natural disasters coming from every direction, to massive amounts of animals dying, and finally to freak weather that we can't explain. Ex. it's December in one of the most snowiest cities in America- and it's been in the 60s. Something is wrong with that.

Our species is meant to adapt, all species are really meant to adapt. We've adapted our whole lives, so why is it that when we are older, we try to stop it? Realize what changes have occurred in you, and try to initiate change elsewhere...that's the best way I've come to embrace change...by giving it to someone else.

-Miss Optimistic

Just try.

Hello Internet-

Lately, I have been studying Hemingway. Reading his books, articles about him, and also quotes he has written. Although this CRAZY author was all over the place, there are things that he has said that are beautifully written. For example this quote:

"Before you talk, listen.
Before you react, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
-Ernest Heminway

What I love about this quote is it challenges everything that our gut always tells us to do. Our instincts are so sharp that when something happens, (this doesn't go for everyone) we immediately react...but why? How can we learn to live or work with other people if we don't even know how to act in a mature manner. That may have come off a little harsh. But think about it, how many times has your emotions taken over and you do something that you probably shouldn't have? For me, that number is too high to count.

I'm a scorpio- so my emotions immediately take over me. This habit or instinct is something I have been working on for years, and let me tell you- it's really hard to break. Jealousy, anger, or sadness all seem to take over my brain and the rest is history. I'd like to say I've gotten better, but the only ones that know that are my closest friends and my family.

The most important thing any of us can do is try, the last sentence of Hemingway's quote. What's the worst that can happen from trying- failing? Well here's another quote I've heard many many times but don't know who it's by : "Fall down 7, get back up 8." There is always another opportunity to try- so what is stopping you?

I challenge you all to try these six steps and see how your life changes.

Comment if you'd like.
As always, much love!
-Miss Optimistic

Video

Hello Internet-

Another inspiring video.

Even though our country has been through a lot we keep fighting on, like each and everyone of us should.
-Miss Optimistic

What is reality?

Hello Internet-

My reasons for creating this blog are still the same: to pass on my thoughts, and to hope that some of what I have to say will help or touch someone. One of my biggest beliefs is that we should believe in what we feel is right and what we personally connect to.

As always, here comes a quote:

"Do not believe in any thing
Simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in any thing
Simply because it's spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in any thing
Simply because it's found written in your religious books.
Do no believe in any thing
Merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because,
They have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis.
When you find that any thing agrees with reason,
And is conductive to the good and benefit of one and all,
Then accept it and live up to it."
-Lord, Gautham Buddha

I'm going to be honest- I have a hard time liking Lady Gaga- sorry followers. She has no sense of reality or a set of beliefs that she follows. She follows all beliefs in order to create a larger audience or connect with more people to make MORE money. As it is, she makes at least FOUR million a year off of bull shit. The reason I bring this up now is because, she hates reality (or this is my take on it) because people just follow what they are told or what they see. But the reality of it is- is she is supposed to be who people are looking up to.

So now we have an issue of people just giving up on reality, and believing it's all a facade. Want to see an example: here it is.

Here is my issue: someone told me that reality isn't real, it's all an illusion, and my response was: we are living, therefore there is some reality to everything we do. And now, we have people responding to that with this : "But reality is what you make of it. This is all so temporary. And all living we do is based on this idea of ourselves that we have... But that idea is fake. It is organized by our ego and what we think we need to be based on media and what is imposed upon us. Anyway... There is nothing wrong with making your reality what you want of it. Because that is what it is. What you make of it."

So let me ask you Internet: does reality exist? If so...what is reality?

My opinion, yes a reality is that we all take life too seriously, but why does that mean that there is no reality. It's not like we are living in Inception. (GREAT movie by the way) AND her reality is so messed up anyway, cause she has more money than she knows what to do with, so she can do whatever she wants. US on the other hand, "normal" working people, have a different reality. We are still alive, and things are still real though. I don't know- any thoughts?

Comment below.
As always, much love
-Miss Optimistic

A survivor.

Hello Internet-

So today I was stumbling around again, when I found the most inspiring video I have ever come across. Coming from someone who has been bullied and picked on for the longest time, my connection with this video brought my to tears.

This is Jonah, and here is his story.

I suggest you watch it, and pass it along...because this video has not only inspired others, but helped many suffering teens get through their depression, and realize...there is something worth living for. If a 14 year old boy can be this strong...imagine what you can do.

As always, much love!
-Miss Optimistic

Happiness

Hello Internet-

Over the last couple years that I have had this blog, I have collected quotes among quotes that I have found online all for you guys. Now, after reviewing a lot of them...I'm going to share a bunch with you with each new post.

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." -Unknown

We all want to be happy- this is a given, but sometimes situations are just what they are. If we constantly are nit-picking and trying to make something it is now...how are we ever supposed to be happy? I have two examples for you. One with my boyfriend and one with a friend.

Last year, my boyfriend and I went through a really rough semester we will say. We a. stopped talking to each other (the most important part of a relationship) and b. I kept trying to change who he was. Looking back on it, I don't even know what I was trying to change him into, but I was trying. Maybe because he was going through a lot and not telling me about it I was trying to make him into something I wanted. I don't know. Regardless. It was a constant battle- stop smoking, you should cut your hair, shave, etc. All commands, when what he was doing was REALLY none of my business...unless it affected me personally...which none of the examples did. Both of us did a lot of wrong in the 5 months of that rough patch, I was a bitch because he was a controlling asshole, and he was a controlling asshole cause I was a bitch. A huge cycle of nonsense. BUT, the most important thing I learned from it was that trying to change someone is only hurting yourself. Be happy with the situation that you have, and if you are trying to change it- then what the hell are you doing in that situation in the first place? We ended up splitting up for 3 months, and then got back together this October, and I COULD NOT be any happier. I think I took this quotes advice. We all have imperfections, and whatever I was 'trying' to change last year, I now look past and love all of him not just parts of him.

Perfection is something that society created and none of us will ever be able to fulfill.

I had a best friend for 15 years. She always chose other situations such as getting drunk, doing drugs, or hanging out with the "popular" crowd over me, and I never quite understood it. I tried so hard to hold onto the friendship and get her to understand that I was more important. In reality, the whole situation was fucked. We both couldn't look past the imperfections of ourselves and life...and ended up losing a really great friendship. Sometimes, especially when we are looking for happiness, we look at all the things we can change in our life...but why do we never look at the things that we have? Why is it so hard to see a situation and appreciate the little things that we DO have, instead of constantly fault-finding in the things that surround us.

My challenge to you: look beyond these imperfections that are around you, and just be content and happy with what you have.

Comment any thoughts/suggestions.

As always, much love!
-Miss Optimistic

A pointless question...

Hello Internet-

We all have those little things that just erk the fudge out of us. For me, it's one stupid question that is always asked on any evaluation you have to fill out, on any questionnaire, on any papers, on anything! What is that question you ask?

What is your sex: Male or Female.

Excuse my language because this question really pisses me off! But who the f**k cares if I have a dick or a vagina. Lets get real. Weather I don't have some sh*t dangling between my legs or I do...is that really going to help you with your damn research or whatever the hell you are trying to figure out.

For example: why this angers me so much, is because they ask on SCHOOL CLASS EVALUATIONS! HELLO?! You don't even give a flying falcon if I am a male or a female! It's a waste of ink and is a waste of 3 seconds of my damn time. AND let me ask you this- if someone is trans or confused with who they even identify with TELL ME YOU STUPID PEOPLE!!! WHAT THE HELL DO THEY PUT?! Both?! Do they chose what they actually are or do they chose what they identify with? AND IF THIS IS THE CASE!!!! Then your stupid evaluations aren't even factual to your ignorant ass minds, because they don't even know how to answer your stupid ass question that is IRRELEVANT TO ANY other information you are asking for.

Hello please fill this out-

Your sex:
Did you have to take this for your major?:
Do you think this class met the standards discussed in the syllabi?:
Was the professor readily available to meet with you or other students?:
What is your average grade:
How many classes have you missed:

NO!!!!!!! NONE of those questions have nothing to do with my sex, and it irritates me because there are so many people in this world, who when they get to that question anywhere- they have to think about it, or they could feel bad for having to chose something they don't want to.

So let me ask you something- WHY NOT have all of the options readily available? Cause what I did today when I filled out mine, is I checked both genders and wrote this is completely irrelevant! Then they asked it again?! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! Twice in one evaluation?! Now you are just testing me. So again, I write this is irrelevant and do not specify.

The LGBT community gets ignored way too often, and I do not identify with them, but god damn! I will fight for them! It is actually ridiculous that people just cannot accept somethings that are different from what they know.

I was speaking to my roommate about this earlier, because as you can see- I'm quite angry about it. And I honestly think that it's just people do not have peace within themselves. Clearly there will NEVER be peace between people, that would be a miracle. But I'm starting to realize, I don't think a lot of people even have peace within. They constantly struggle and try to be something they aren't or are trying to hide someone they are in fear that they won't be accepted, or whatever the cause is- who is really at peace with themselves? I personally think I am, but I could always be more at peace with myself...everyone really could.

When I get back to the states- the first thing I am doing is finding out how to get that damn question removed, or at least put all the options if your gonna be an ass about it.

Sorry about the rant, but I personally believe in it and I think it's something that we should learn to accept, becuase it is only becoming more common around the world. We are all human and although we may identify ourselves with different things it doesn't mean we aren't something at all, like this question is basically saying. Male or Female! NO! There are other options....how has the world not gotten this yet?!

Anyway, enough rambling cause I could do this all day.... haha!

Comment your thoughts if you'd like.

As always MUCH love,
-Miss Optimistic




*****DISCLAIMER: THE PICTURE IS NOT MINE. I FOUND THE PICTURE USING STUMBLEUPON.COM****

Change or find?

Hello Internet-

I came across another quote today that made me think:

"Many people say I've changed, but the truth is I've just found myself."-Anonymous.

Recently, I was talking to one of my old good friends. He basically walked out of my life like my father has, and when he finally came back expected me to be all happy I guess. He seemed to remember the past 6 months or so very differently than I do. He told me something had happened and he needed time to figure things out. And all I wanted to do was be a friend to him and be there for him, so I'd text him almost every day, call him at least once every other week, and send him facebook messages- and in return would receive absolutely nothing. He claims all of these attempts to get in touch with him never even happened. HA! Then he continued to tell me why he didn't understand why I was upset. Maybe cause my best friend disappeared and ignored me like my father has done to me for the last 15 years. Actually! come to think of it- he makes my dad look AWESOME...cause at least my dad answers my emails a couple days later. Anyway- conversation went on about us trying to tell the other how the last 6 months went, and I realized...he was totally different, and not in a way that I liked. But I also realized, I had no say in who he was because we hadn't talked in half a year. Who knows if he had some life changing experience...a lot happens in 6 months.

Then I found this quote. Did he really even change? Maybe he just found the douche bag inside himself that he really is. So what happens to us? Do you think that we actually change- or maybe we just grow into who we were meant to be. I can't decide. Maybe it's both? I don't know. Comment your thoughts....I'm interested to see how others see take this quote/their ideas on it.

As always- much love, -Miss Optimistic

"Dark Passenger"

Hello Internet-

Lately, I have joined in with this obsession with the show Dexter. The first time I tried watching it was totally turned off, but this last time...I couldn't stop. Completely caught up to season 5 in about two or three weeks- sad I know. But I have learned a lot from the show. Interesting how a forensics/murder show can teach you something.

For those of you who don't watch it- Dexter is the main character and he is a serial killer who kills people who have hurt others. He is also a forensic scientist, so he gets the inside to all this information etc. But he talks about his killer being his "dark passenger". And thinking about it- we all do have a dark passenger...it just depends on how we use it or if we use it at all.

I stumbled upon a quote- literally I used stumbleupon.com (great procrastinating website haha!)but the quote says: "Monsters exist. They live inside ordinary people. And sometimes, they win." -Anonymous

We all have this darkness inside of us, some are worse than others, but regardless. Instead of trying to hide it, we should at least know it's there, see the other side to us and embrace it. Sometimes it'll do better than you think it will.

Honestly- I know I have a monster, or "Dark passenger", that lives inside me, but I couldn't tell you what her role in my life is. I haven't met her one on one yet. The other great thing about seeing these evils that are among us, is you know who you really love. If you can handle someones darkness, you are doing more for that person than you know, and vice versa.

Maybe it is time that we start seeing these dark passengers and not hiding them.

-Miss Optimistic

Need some advice on focusing?

Hello Internet-

Stumbled upon this website literally...and figured you might want to check it out.

Just click on the link- it's gonna help me!
-Miss Optimistic

Know what you want.

Hello Internet-

Long time no see, yea yea yea. I know. Cannot believe a whole semester has passed since I last posted anything here. Not okay. But, being over in another country has opened my eyes, and I have learned quite a lot.

The first thing I have learned here is that I know what I want in my life and what is worth having in my life. All that other stuff is just stuff to pass the time, and I don't really need that. If you know what you want to surround yourself with, life will surround you with what you want.

It's funny because while being here, six hours ahead of all of my friends, it has really hit me who cares and who doesn't. There are people who I really didn't think I was that close with, yet they get in touch with me at least once a week. And now, I'm excited to go home to see these friends that are way closer than I think.

The only negative thing with knowing what you want to surround you, is you get a little bit more picky. I have become more easily fed up with peoples' bull shit and immatureness. I don't need to put myself around stress and anxiety when I don't want it in my life.

Separating yourself from your life isn't a bad thing. Sure you miss what is comfortable, but it also makes you appreciate the great things you have, and also shows you what you really don't care about or don't need.



Second thing I have learned/thought of here...

This quote I thought of while on a trip was:
"I don't have wishes I have goals, and I don't have regrets I have experiences." - Optimistic Voice

Use this quote if you like, just please quote me...you didn't think of it I did. :)
It's kinda something I've been preaching in a more realistic way I guess. Wishes are great and all, but wishing for something doesn't make it come to you. Having a goal to get it is what makes it come to you. STOP WISHING START DOING!! Also, don't wallow in what has happened- that's just regretting. Take those negative or positive things that have happened and see them as experiences. It's a more positive way to look at life, and makes you happier at the same time.

-Miss Optimistic

Something New Everyday....

Hello Internet-

So today, I found inspiration in a place that I let go. Hopefully he will come across this at some point. The reason I created this blog was to teach people. But how do I teach when I feel I'm not learning? I'm experiencing, but not things I find worthy of writing about. I'm not EXPERIENCING. I leave in 2 weeks for a semester abroad, and am more than excited to leave. As much as I love home, I tend to get in a lull when I am here...and everything just turns bland.

We apparently learn something new everyday, or so they say...so I should have a post for everyday...but I don't. (Obviously.) I think the point of this saying, is that we subconsciously learn something new everyday. We constantly observe, judge, see, hear, and talk about others, so we have to learn about others as we go along...but what do we consciously pick up? Little to nothing really...but when it comes to us in a similar situation we heard, saw, or observed we know exactly what to do. I think this blog (for me) has patience. It's not rushed or forced, it's reality within writing, for you to read- whether you like it or not.

Every now and then I always change the background to my computer. Before it was a quote I posted up here a while ago about how you shouldn't regret because at one point it was exactly what you wanted...something like that, and now, it says:

"If you're brave to say 'good bye', life will reward you with a new 'hello'. "

I hate good bye's personally. I never want to let anyone out ofmy life, and when I do...I always go back to them. I always wonder what they are doing, how I can help them, or how I should've changed things to keep them in my life.

I'm a free spirit- I think the best way to live is to just enjoy, so with the new good bye's I will be saying as I make my journey across the Atlantic, there will be plenty of hello's waiting for me :)

-Miss Optimistic

Most beautiful people...

Hello Internet-

A quote I came across:

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." - Elizabeth Kubler Ros

How great is that quote? It makes so much sense too. You know, when you get out of something that is so life changing, and you look back on how it made you stronger...you appreciate the sadness that came from the situation. In that case- make the best of the shitty things life gives you. It only makes you more beautiful.

Our souls grow with the lessons we learn. From pain, happiness, suffering, and every other emotion. With more emotions we experience the more we grow.

-Miss Optimistic