Horoscope...

Hello Internet:

It's been a while, huh?

I woke up this morning, back hurting, stomach sore, tired, and confused. I have an application on my iphone for horoscopes, and decided to read it.

"People are apt to be as stubborn as you in their thinking today, Scorpio. This could be a recipe for disaster if you aren't careful. Open the floodgates a bit wider and take in more of the opinions of others. Don't automatically assume that other people have to conform to your viewpoint to resolve an issue. More than likely, there needs to be some give and take from all involved."

I had to laugh, how much more coincidental can you get. But in all seriousness, not just because my boyfriend and I tend to have different thoughts...and are both stubborn and one may forget about the other or be inconsiderate or what have you. That's normal.

The thing is, I'm not trying to bash him at all, just saying think about it. We expect people to change and form to "our lifestyles" but never think about forming to anyone else's. I don't mean to brag, but I have changed quite a bit in the fact that I will drop what I'm doing for my boyfriend, and sometimes I feel the favors are not returned. But, it's not just him.

Last night I went and celebrated a Sedar, no I'm not Jewish, not Catholic, not really anything, I was raised to believe whatever I thought. This amazing girl I met read this poem about her mother. How she just wished her mom could see and feel what she does, massage therapy. That her mom could understand what she does for people, and the power that her hands give people. I was talking to her after and was like I have never been more moved by something, and it just made so much sense.

Later on in the evening, we were all talking about how people just don't give a shit anymore. And think about it, when will people drop what they are doing for you? Rarely right. Mostly family will. I told the people in the room, something like...

"It comes with maturity. Immaturity is when you only think about yourself and when someone needs you you can't do it cause you are worrying about yourself. MATURITY is thinking about yourself and putting yourself first, but the moment someone around you needs you or shows some sign of vulnerability, realizes they need to put themselves aside for the moment. Maturity is realizing you are important, but you are not the only one living."

It's funny lately I have been having these pains in my stomach...and my friend asked how long has it been going on? I say on and off about 2-3 weeks. My boyfriend says, " this week has been the first time I have ever heard her complain about it."

But here is the thing, yes, I may be getting sharp stabbing pains in the middle of my abdomen, but when it's once or twice it's fine I'll get over it. I don't need to complain about it, because there are people suffering much worse on the inside then me. When it continues for a while, and I feel like I can't walk, and am in EXCRUCIATING pain, that is the time I bring it up.

The point of this post Internet, is realize the people around you. I challenge you to grow as a person; put yourself first, but realize there are other people around you. If someone you care about looks upset or in pain, you can drop yourself for a minute.

Open your eyes half way. The half closed is that wall for yourself. That strength you show others you have. And the open half is the vulnerability you have to others. Embrace people when they need someone, and put your shoulder down when your ego is too high for them to reach.

Love every ray of sunshine that comes your way.

-Miss Optimistic.

"You just know"

Hello Internet:

So, a little saying that I have been hearing from a lot of girls lately is, "you just know", and what is funny about it- is I did. After being pushed and pushed by someone...I just knew I wasn't meant to be there and be doing what I had been doing.

It's funny how we get so caught up in things, that we almost forget why we didn't want to do them in the first place. For so long I just wanted this one thing in my life that I have felt was missing; I have been wrong. I just realized it had been there all along. I have never had many friends that were girls, but I also neglected the fact, that my best girlfriends were there the whole time. My sisters and my mom. Maybe I'm not the girl that knows every ones business, and not the one that wears pearls around her neck, nor do I feel I need to be drunk to have fun.

I don't know everybody that lives in the city I live in, nor do I want to. I forgot why I had hated my high school years so much and why I was dying to get out of them. I may be speaking for myself, but ultimately I think a lot of people can agree with me. It isn't about HOW many people you know, it's about the people that you DO know. Look at your closest friends- whether it be one, three, or 10. How well do you know them and vice versa. And today, I realized I have the best fucking friends ever.

It may not be who society has built them up to be, but ultimately at the end of the day, they are always there. My rocks, I cry they cry, they hurt I hurt. We are all our own people and we all want different things, but honestly, I got so wrapped up in something I didn't even really want in the first place, I forgot where my home was.

So internet: I leave you with this. Are your friends your friends? Or, do you just like the idea that girls or guys in society are supposed to have 1000 contacts in their phone or always know someone where ever they go.

We shouldn't have to be "chosen" to be someone's friend it should just happen. So don't force yourself into doing something because "society" sees it as "normal" do something because YOU want to...because if you don't do what you want to do...you will not be the person you were meant to be.

-Miss Optimistic