Figure it out on your own

Hello Internet-

So, I'm not even sure if anyone is even really reading this other than my followers- but like I said in my very first post, it is not about who is following or who is reading this, it is about getting my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs for other people to see; if they chose to do so.

I learned a lesson yesterday. I mean, I learn lessons every day, that's life, but I learned a valuable one I already knew. When something is going wrong you can't have someone else tell you that it's not right, you need to see that it is wrong in order to correctly fix it.

Do not be blind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has that one person that has that magical power over us. That magical power could possibly start blinding us to the life you started, make things gray and fuzzy again. That power so strong you can't deny it. What I realized, is that powers can be over come.

We need to realize that old habits are old habits. You can't change or be different if you are always falling into bad habits. For example. An alcoholic- always an alcoholic, hence why they can't drink ever again once they go sober.

An ex is always going to be an ex. If you shared some sort of bond with them it will always come back. But I will tell you now, do not let someone else ruin what you have in your life. If it is good- keep it, if it's bad get rid of it.

Internet, I know you are smart. Just be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of what makes you happy. Be aware of what you are doing wrong or right. It isn't a bad thing if you are doing things wrong- you are just being human.

So Internet- Last thing I want to say to you, figure your flaws out on your own. Don't let people tell you who you are or who you aren't. Secondly, find that love within yourself. If you don't love yourself you won't be able to let people in to love you as well.

Have a wonderful day everyone,
-Miss Optimistic

Struggles.

Hello Internet:

While I sit here just thinking and trying to figure out what the hell to even write about today, I thought of a close friend of mine. Sweetest girl you will ever meet, always smiling and or laughing, very smart, beautiful, and most importantly- a girl who knows what she wants; doesn't judge or discriminate, and is open to any opportunity that comes her way.

Unfortunately, one of her family members passed away this last weekend, and she had to go to the funeral. Hadn't seen her for a few days, and then today when I saw her- her life and happiness seemed to be burnt out. That glow in her eyes was dimmed and her smile was faded. All I can think about today is how much we all hurt. Today is kinda an add on from yesterday- meshes into more detail of my thoughts.

A few months ago, my friend wore a short sleeved shirt- and from previous experiences my natural tendency is to look at wrists; when I noticed a few red marks on her arm. I was torn in half. I am not sure how to talk to her about it nor do I know what to say. "Cutting" is such a hard subject to talk about, and I know the struggles and pains that come along with the addiction. A very very close person to me struggled with this for many years, so I know the fake smiles they have to paste on their face and the hurtful laughs they have to create to "appear" happy. A facade so beautiful, and the inside so dark and gloomy.

I refrain from getting into any more details, for the person I am talking about may not want me to, but I never really got how bad it was until she sent a picture of the cut she had recently done. Down her leg I believe it was, the crusted blood around the dark red line made my stomach turn and my heart sink.

How is it that naturally the most amazing and beautiful people, underneath tend to be hurting the most? They tend to be struggling the most.

But some others may get into this painful way of living to feel alive.

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything seems like the movies,
Yea you bleed just to know your alive."
-Goo Goo Dolls: Iris

The song came on my Ipod earlier, and every time I hear those lyrics goose-bumps run up and down my body. But in a way the lyrics are so true. Underneath our thin skin, blood and movement: life is circling through us; these people in pain just want to know that they still are living, still are alive.

Internet: have you ever just felt like things aren't real. That everything in life seems too surreal that you "pinch yourself" to make sure it is? Imagine feeling this all the time.

Anyway, my intentions for this blog were to not be pessimistic, trust me, it is in my name to not be :-). My intentions are to bring light to the situation. The scars on my friends arm are a permanent memory of her struggles, they may keep her pressing on and moving. But, know there is always someone who knows how you feel, and there is always someone who is willing to listen. If you can't find anyone...I guarantee you I will. You listen to my rambles about my thoughts- why wouldn't I listen to the followers?

Struggles are something hard to overcome, and hard to get through alone.

Something I want you to ponder Internet: never give up- if life gets you down and you feel misled. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in and let it go. Let all your worries and stresses flow out with your breath. Why should we waste this one life we are given?

To my friend, which I doubt will read this, I have been through your struggle, and have dealt with death, hell I have been dreaming about it all week. But know that there is always someone here, who wants to help and wants to see your beautiful smile. We are all unique in how we deal with things, so instead of being closed and lecturing people as to why they do something a certain way- ask WHY?!

Why do you hurt yourself? Why do you want this piercing? etc. Figure out what's going on in their heads, instead of judging- a wise woman told this to me.

Our life is about listening. So I tell you once again Internet, start listening.

-Miss Optimistic