Imagination.

Hello Internet:

So today I was looking in the mirror- and I realized...I seemed thinner than I had the last couple weeks. Do not think that I am calling myself fat or anything, because I am not insecure about my body- nor have I ever been. I have always been the tiny one...who instead of getting made fun of for being fat, was made fun of for being anorexic or bulimic, and I can tell you right now I am far from either!

The thing is...I did get a little insecure the last few weeks, and I don't know if that's because I had so much going on and was stressed and just wanted to lay in my bed all day, but instead was out running around all day with no rest in between, but ultimately, I would look in the mirror and just see this little pouch at the bottom of my stomach.

At first didn't think anything of it, didn't care. But then my mind started really running wild. I would look in the mirror and say I'm gaining weight (THIS IS NOT A BAD THING!!!!! to girls who are afraid to!) but finally today when I got out of the shower and just looked in the mirror I saw beauty. I just looked at my soul and beauty was pouring out of it.

I saw a video last night on "anti-hazing" in colleges, and I can tell you right now I can not remember the last time I have been so moved by a film. This boy at Boland College I think in Colorado was murdered because he was told to drink until he passed out basically. The brothers brought the pledges back to the house and this boy, Gordie...just layed on the couch, passed out. The boys then thought it would be funny to draw all over him with sharpie. One in specific saying "It sucks to be YOU!".

Gordie did not wake up that morning. In FACT! He was laying face down on the floor in his throw up for 10 hours before anyone called for help! The one boy they interviewed who I think was a brother of this frat, with tears welling in his eyes just said something along the lines of, "you know, it sucks having a friend like that and just knowing the last thing you did to them before they died was drawing on them with sharpie."

HOW SICK. After that film I texted all of the most important people in my life, because what I think we most often forget is to show these emotions: gratitude, love, passion, etc. I made sure to text my family, my boyfriend, and my closest friends who have impacted my life. The ones that have stood by me through whatever and I know will always be there.

I realized with that film that life is too short to worry about if I'm gaining weight or if my paper isn't "A" quality, because there is so much more to life. I do not want to live one minute of my life anymore with out the closest people around me knowing I love them unconditionally, and always will.

The point of all of this...is our imagination makes our mind run wild. I did a beautiful thing last night and touched about a dozen people's hearts and day, and today when I woke up finally well rested: looked in the mirror and although there is acne on my face and my nose has a bump on it, my feet are disgusting, my boobs are too small, my hair isn't the right color, I haven't plucked my eyebrows in weeks, I still managed to just look in the mirror and see beauty. None of that today matters.

Gratitude is the one thing I stress most in this blog, because with out being grateful for something, we don't know what we have.

So Internet: With this, I ask you to look in the mirror- what do you see? Anger, love, beauty, peace, broken heart- what is it that is inside of you that is making your days a little duller, a little brighter, a little harder? Find what that is...and instead of looking in the mirror and seeing sadness and anger- look in the mirror and start seeing beauty and peace- because we are all peacefully beautiful!

-Miss Optimistic