One Good Deed.

-Miss Optimistic

So Demanding...

Hello Internet-

Now that I have tons of time to let my mind wander and think on a day to day basis...I started thinking about all the things that we do. We are a culture or a species of habit. We do things that we are comfortable with doing, and then get pissed when we are served the same old shit on a platter.

For example... I always tend to find people, or they find me, that never seem to stick around. But, what if it's not that they don't stick around, it's that I've just been doing something over and over again to make people not want to stay? Not a great example, but hopefully you get the idea.

"If you do what you have always done, you'll get what you have always gotten." -Anon

We expect more from new people that come into our lives, we expect more from new situations, we just expect too much I think. Try something new and take chances. What do you have to lose? So it could be a little embarrassing or a little disappointing, but think about the end result. By not doing the same habitual things over and over again, we will always have new situations and new moments to take chances. The only thing that we fear is fear itself...because we are so scared to step out of our comfort zone. But have you ever really tried?

When I think about the quote from Anon, I immediately think of the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carey. If you haven't seen it- do it...it's amazing what you come across when you just say yes and take a little leap of faith.

I recently have made some choices that are taking a huge leap of faith. As I told a friend...I'm taking a chance. On what- he has no idea...but the idea is is that I should always be taking chances, we should always be taking risks. We never know how far we can go if we are stuck in the same spot.

My challenge to myself, join me if you'd like, is to not restrict myself. Especially with traveling abroad next semester, I don't want there to be limits. I mean, I've already jumped off a bridge, gone white water rafting (I had a bad experience with water when I was younger), gone waterfall repelling, and more. I have not enjoyed these activities in the moment as they scared the shit out of me, but when you are done, you just feel such relief that you did something you never thought you would do.

Try it.
-Miss Optimistic

The Things You Find...

Hello Internet-

So, now that life has calmed down quite a bit...I went through all the picture quotes I have saved to tell you all about. In between studying or whatever I am doing, I always stumble...worst procrastination invention ever. BUT! I always come across these great things that help me through my days, and now I get to share them with you :)

Not sure when I found this one, but that's irrelevant. I found it again today.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." - Emerson.

Not only do Emerson's words continue to resonate in my head after reading it, but his words are beyond truthful. So many times do I let what happened the day before, or even the hour before ruin my day. I continue to think about what I could have done or should have done to change the situation, or I just think about the situation in general. We let our old nonsense haunt us in a way that we can't just let ourselves live life and enjoy it.

Enjoy each day, hour, minute, or second. We have more to come to make up for the crappy ones that come our way.

-Miss Optimistic

Look at Yourself.

Hello Internet-

Today I stumbled upon quite an interesting video. Look at yourself after watching this... I can guarantee, you will think very differently. You know, even though I preach to just let go, to be happy, to love as much as you can, etc., a lot of times it is hard to let go of emotions and situations that we care about, I struggle everyday with it. I pray this video stays in my mind. We can be whatever we want to be, do whatever we want, and get wherever we want to...all we have to do is believe.

So, my challenge to you internet- is set up some goals today. What do you believe? And where do you want to be in 5, maybe 10 years? Then, ask yourself, what is stopping you?

Nothing stopped this man, so why let life stop you?

-Miss Optimistic

Detox.

Hello Internet-

So as we know after a change in our lives, the best thing to do is go through and clean out the clutter in our lives. Since my parents are currently going through a divorce, as this seems to be the trend lately, my mom has decided to go through EVERYTHING and get rid of what she doesn't want around the house anymore. She also decided to repaint almost every room in the house- well that's my summer job actually. The first room I have to paint...is mine. So, before Monday when I actually start working, I have to go through everything in all of my room get rid of what I don't want, keep what I do, and then put it all somewhere.

Although I must say this could not have been better timing. After getting some space of myself, I don't know what I would be doing other than sitting in my room all day thinking. It's funny, because as I go through all my clothes, books, jewelry, all of my belongings, and split them into keep or don't keep piles, I start thinking about what's really important. We tend to hoard and hold onto things that are markers in our lives, but the tighter and longer we hold on to them, the less we even remember about it. I've decided I'm going to let the memories speak for themselves, and the ones that matter will carry with me forever, and the ones that don't weren't meant to last.

Especially with the world apparently ending soon, why clutter a life that is meant to be so simple?

Think about it..

-Miss Optimistic

A New Me

Hello Internet-

So lately, I have been stumbling on a lot of blogs that talks about the negatives of shampoo and hair products. Basically...what these blogs are saying is we have been raised to use these products that actually are just harming out locks instead of benefiting them like they advertise. Have dandruff anyone? Apparently the reason why you are probably experiencing those lovely white flakes on your shoulder is due to the chemicals that are "hidden" in your shampoo. Dried out and split ends? Well that's going to happen regardless from wear and tear, but basically the chemicals in our shampoos and conditioners are what is causing the wear and tear to happen faster.

So- I read somewhere that baking soda is the perfect solution, it helps absorb the oil and wash it out. Basically my point: I am going all natural. I will still wash my body, with natural soaps...I would just smell if I didn't, but I love my hair. I stopped dying it about a year ago, because dying your hair stunts the growth and over all is terrible for hair. Now, I am going to stop washing it with these wonderfully smelling shampoos/conditioners.

It's funny...becuase I've told a couple people about my project, and they all get disgusted. My mom was basically like what...I'm sure there are organic shampoos out there that will do just a good of a job. But that's the thing...I don't WANT any shampoos or conditioners. The reason our hair gets so oily so quickly is because we wash it every day, the chemicals dry it out and then our heads produce oil to moisture our hair, and then it just looks gross. So we are in this process of grossness, that really isn't helping anyone- not even the earth.

Eventually, my hair will stop producing as much oil, and I won't even have to rinse it very often. I plan on starting to wash it with baking soda once a week, and then move to 2 times a week, with a rinse once a week, and then continue to spread it out. Eventually I won't need the baking soda at all hopefully. Call me gross, but these blogs actually say it makes your hair look healthier and have more volume...so I'm going to give it a try :)

I'm also going to stop using my make up, again. If there is a special occasion, of course, but the everyday wear and tear on my skin isn't healthy. My one friend asked if I was becoming a hippie and I laughed. It's not that I'm becoming a hippie, I'm just going to what feels natural or good to me. I need a new start, a healed soul that will get me where I need to be. And, if me changing my habits helps me get there, so be it :)

We all deserve to be beautiful, and we should be even if it seems gross and unnatural. My experiment is probably more natural/healthy than what you are thought is "normal".

-Miss Optimistic

A little time for youreslf.

Hello Internet-

The last couple days have quite possibly been a few of the best. Not because the school year is coming to a close, and I am stuck up at school pretty much by myself, but because I have had lots of time to think, to have a little time for myself. What I have learned over the last few days may or may not help you, but the most important thing, is that you and your happiness always come first.

Obsession: something we throw ourselves into without even really knowing it. I'll be the first to admit, and those that know me will agree, I have a little bit of OCD. I like knowing how things will turn out, I like things in certain places, and am very observant. But when OCD and a relationship merge, that's when issues arise. I think often times, we are all so used to this fairytale ending, that when we aren't getting this perfect relationship we freak out. Then try to control the whole situation, analyze, argue, correct, fix, or any other verb you'd like to ad in there, to get the relationship to where you want it to be. We obsess, scrutinize, and nit pick at little things that really don't even matter. My relationship I have talked about in previous posts is on hold for now, becuase we both became so obsessed with it. Not because we were both OCD, but I'm not even really sure how we did. We spent all our time together, texted all the time, and then when we were together it was just the every day routine that we had fallen into.

My first realization of having time to myself is, let go. Stop obsessing over things that may not be going the way you want them to, because no matter how hard you try to change them your life is going to work out how it wants to.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams

If we all just realize that we will always end up where we need to be, obsession will subside, and happiness and that carefree feeling will take over.

Stress: We all do it whether we realize it or not. There is always something in our lives that eats away at us and gets under our skin, but why? Why do we care so much about these little things that dig into us. And what's funny, is half the time we stress about things we have no control over! So why waste your time? Whenever I get stressed now, I lay in bed, or sit in a chair...and just focus on my breathe for at least 5 minutes. Sit and nothing. I think we need that nothingness in our crazy hectic lives, because all we know is chaos, so when we don't have it, we create it.

Love: We cannot love others unless we love ourselves- it just doesn't work that way. The other thing I have learned, is why limit ourselves? Love everything, not just some things. Because ultimately, we are all equal, and ultimately, everyone and everything needs a little lovin'. It's almost as if we have learned to only give love to those who are closest to us, but why? What is stopping us from giving love to everyone who comes through our lives? After all, all we want to be is loved by everyone, so why not love everyone?

Love, relax, and let go are the three main things I have learned in taking time to myself. Everyone needs their space- if you are in a relationship that is built around each other, it may be hard, but take some time for yourselves! You need it. You are your own entity, and the significant other is supposed to respect and support you.

-Miss Optimistic

Life Happens All Too Quickly.

Hello Internet-

It's been a long time, I know. But life got a little hectic and quite frankly school and other obligations took over. My first post back, I want to share a piece I had to write for a class. I hope you enjoy.



Life happens all too quickly. We try to change, exchange, or rearrange our lives. We try so hard to understand, be a woman or a man, and have everything planned. But why do we rush my friend? We take too many things for granted that it's hard to see how fast life passes us by. Here I see people who are constantly pessimistic, ballistic, and far from logistic. Life happens all too quickly. People think that fun is getting drunk then having a one-night stand, being canned while the next day being called bland. Something fun is not remembering the next day just to say, "hahahaha!! I acted that way?!" But, life happens all too quickly.

We stop appreciating why we are here, and thank god for the beer that makes us unclear. Life happens all too quickly to be afraid of fear. I mean that's why we all get wasted, our faces pasted all over the Internet and a few minutes later be tasted by someone you don't even know; a way to forget all the regret that lives in our body and is released through sweat.

My friend, Life happens all too quickly to think that your thong hanging out of your pants, screaming chants, and wanting implants to change a perfectly imperfect body are normal. They say we always want what we don't have, but life just happens all too quickly. Enjoy what you can, stop trying to plan, because otherwise you are just like a con man. Acting like you are someone that you really aren't, neglecting the spot you've been given here. Listen to me: life happens all too quickly. So when push comes to shove, remember the love that continues to grow inside of you. Smile to the man on the street asking for some change, if you take a minute you will realize he's not strange, if anything take a lesson that you need to rearrange what is most important in this life, because life happens all too quickly.


So summer is here and I will have lots of time of nothing to write. :)

-Miss Optimistic

Repeat

Hello Internet-

Been a while, I know. Life has been beyond hectic though. A lot of times I write here about advice, and this time I'm not sure I have any.

It seems the advice I have been giving myself, as well as here, has only just backfired for me. I keep telling myself only up from here, but things just keep happening to make my days feel longer and darker.

My grandfather was sent to the hospital the other day, and my grandma has a pretty bad case of alzheimers and cannot stay alone in her home. On top of my mom having to try and deal with all of that, and figure out how to help her mom, she's going through a divorce. There is never enough time in the day to do all we need to do. I think we need to all realize that life continues to be full with twists and turns, and wasting our energy and time fighting the small things does no good for us. When other things are going on that are clearly more tragic, why waste hours dwelling on a small little detail?

I don't know...I can't even think.

-Miss Optimistic

"Dream Week"

Hello Internet-


I know it's a little late, but I figure I need to honor an incredible man who once had a dream. I came across a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. and it says...

"We may have all come in different ships, but we're in the same boat now." - MLK Jr.

How true is this! There's this girl in one of my classes, and it's almost like she makes others feel bad for the life they had no choice of being in. She's black, a woman, and in the lower middle to lower class. (not that that matters) But the thing I was talking to my friend about is, is that there is almost this reverse discrimination, because of what the "whites" decided to do in the past. I for one had no choice in the color of my skin. I had no choice in the family I was put in, and had no choice in the economic class I was born into.

I think it's time that we let go of what our ancestors did and live. If you are of another color or religion, don't be angry for the history. I know that history is hard to hear. Sometimes, history affected you personally, and for that my heart goes out to you. I don't first hand know how that feels, but I can only imagine. We must all sail in the same direction in order to get to where we need to be.

I have a dream. I dream that all anger will subside. That one day, my baby girl won't be afraid to go to school because of people making fun of her, not because of her skin color, her religion, but because of what she's wearing. I have a dream that one day my homosexual son won't be harassed because of who he chooses to love. I have a dream that we will all come together and just love. That pain will subside, and genuine people will come back to show us how life should be. I believe we can create the destiny that we dream of, just like Martin Luther King did.

So Internet- with this post I am sharing with you my dream, of what I want for my children of the future, and yours. Benjamin Disraeli once said, "The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own." Let us show each other the good we all hold, and let go of the negative.

-Miss Optimistic

Welcome to the New YEAR

Hello Internet-

So as the new year is beginning, and the old one is coming to a close, we need to ask ourselves...where are we going? What is it we want for this year? And, how should it be different than last year?

My goal for this year is to create my own happiness, I've been struggling a lot at school trying to be happy, and with everything that has been going on in my life. I don't know if I have talked about it before, but, a major change happened in my life this past year. I officially feel I have lost a father. Some information was found out that he now has another home, which looks almost identical to the one he used to live in, my home. He also may or may not have been having an affair with his secretary, regardless...what has happened is his business, not mine.

I met with him for dinner after all this information came about, and I told him I just wanted a father. He told me that I had to make an effort to keep in touch too..because this is all my fault that he "works" all the time and can't even answer my phone calls or texts. I tried for a bit, but was so disappointed when I realized that it was all the same. Nothing had changed. I was so hopeful that maybe I could actually start building a relationship with him, where instead it feels that we have drifted even more.

I didn't realize how much the whole situation was affecting me, until a friend of mine pointed it out. I have built my walls up so high again, that it's almost impossible for anyone to break them down. I lost a lot of trust in a lot of people, because we never know what people can do to us. The people we think may never hurt us can. I basically shut down. I stopped talking about things that were eating me up inside, and isolated myself with my boyfriend. Worst mistake I think I have ever made. I depended so much on him to make me feel better, and after 4-5 months of me still feeling the same, it almost feels like I lost faith in him. That I feel he may not be able to help me with situations.

Reality is: I just never brought it up...out of sight out of mind. I didn't want to think about it. I'd be fine and then it would pop in my head and then I'd uncontrollably start crying. It hurt. It ate me alive, until I lost a lot of who I was, who I had worked so hard to be. The vivacious, happy go lucky, everything happens for a reason girl. When I would try to bring it up, he just never understood. His family is always together talking, they are in each others business, etc. When I'm around his family, I can't not be happy...it's a family I've always wanted to be a part of. It's hard for someone to put themselves in other people's shoes- when they haven't seen a lot of disaster in their life.

I've been dealing with a life changing experience all on my own. I've been trying and trying to open up to people, but that trust just isn't there. I'm back to trying to control the world- and it's tiring. I want life to take me where I'm supposed to go, like I did for a while.

With the new year, I want to have faith. I want to enjoy my busy days. I want to let go of the things that have rotten inside of me. I want to be happy Internet, and you should be too. With new years comes a new way of thinking...mine is what it used to be...I'm just going back to the old old way of thinking :).

I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year!
-Miss Optimistic

Take Me Back

Hello Internet-

For a while, I haven't thought about my real beliefs. The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, that so greatly lead my life in optimism had slowly been slipping out of my mind. I thought about an old friend about a week ago, a friend who introduced this book to me. His recommendation changed my life for the better, and I will be ever grateful to this man, however, the next day after he crossed my mind he called me. It was The Secret working it's magic- there is no explanation. I haven't talked to this old friend in 6 months, and randomly after I think about him he calls me? Coincidence- I think not... I asked for it.

Lately, these "coincidences" have been happening a lot, or at least I am noticing them more often. All we have to do is think positively and put that out into the universe, and sure enough- it'll come back. Life has been a struggle lately- or so it seems. The constant arguments, the feeling that I'm lost, dealing with issues I have hidden so deep, etc. it seems as though fate has been messing with me. Taking a step back, I realize I was letting myself drown in that "pool of negativity" I was talking about, and how is that a good way to live?

I called my mom after talking to my friend crying- telling her I hated where I was. It was so depressing and cold and every negative word in the book..that's not going to make it any better. She said, "Maybe that's why you went there, to figure out how to create your own happiness." We wait for happiness to be created for us, or for things to happen that make us happier, but why is it so hard for us to just be happy with what is there in front of us.

For me, I don't know about you Internet- but it's hard to create my own happiness when everything that surrounds me doesn't make me feel better. So...how does one create their own happiness? Well, I created it by finally coming home. Being with my dog, on my own, time to myself, and relaxing I have become closer to who I was before I went back to school. We need to come to terms with ourselves- and who we are, not what we want to be. The only way to do that...is to ask for what we want, use the secret to our advantage :).

-Miss Optimistic

Slow down

Hello Internet-

I came across a site today, famous quotes from famous philosophers. How perfect :). Although I read through Buddha, Plato, and Socrates; one quote by Confucius really stood out to me. Never hearing about this man, or I probably have just didn't retain it when I was told about him, I found his words moving.

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop."

It's funny, because I get frustrated when things don't just come easy. I have a plan, a course that I want to take, and often times it never goes how I have planned. That doesn't mean that I won't achieve these goals I set for myself. When I read this quote by Confucius, I immediately thought of "slow and steady wins the race", that story of the hare and the turtle racing to the finish line.

We are always in such a rush to get the most amount of money, to finish school, to learn something, to be at the top, etc. We constantly are rushing- but why? When ever since we were a kid we were told- no matter how slow you go, it'll get done. That's what my challenge is to you Internet- just slow down. If you've had goals that are taking forever to reach, or maybe the path is a little different than you had planned, don't give up. Life has ways of giving you what you deserve, and if you want it badly enough- you'll receive whatever it is.

What's funny, is lately all I want to do is be done with school- to just be out in the real world, and I'm almost positive once I'm in the real world, I'm going to want to be done with it and be retired. We want things to happen quickly, why not enjoy the moments that life is giving us? A good friend of mine showed me this song it's called Chinese Translation by M Ward. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful...I suggest you look into it.

"And I said, what do you do with the pieces of a broken heart? And how can a man like me remain in the light? And if life is really as short as they say, then why is the night so long? And then the sun went down, and he sang for me this song. See I once was a young fool like you afraid to do the things that I knew I had to do. So I played an escapade just like you."

We have these questions as to why things aren't going the way we planned, or why life is showing us these pains, these failures, and these struggles, but the thing is, it seems we just give up too easily. We are afraid of the fight and scared of the outcomes we are unaware of.

The days are short, that's why the nights are so long...so that we can see the important things during the day and appreciate them when we can't see them at night. Internet- Don't let things discourage you. Don't let time, fear, or failure keep you away from what you want...if you want it you'll get it, not matter how long or short it'll take you.

-Miss Optimistic

Distractions

Hello Internet-

Lately, I have been having a lot of distractions- hence why I haven't been writing as frequently. My mind, my body, and my soul continue to be distracted even when I don't want them to be. Right now I am distracting myself with this post instead of writing a final paper for a class. We constantly do it- but why? We like procrastinating and putting things off till the last minute. I've been thinking about this, and what is so great about distractions? Why do we need our minds to be constantly buzzing and busy?

My theory is this:

We are afraid. I'm distracting myself because I am afraid of how my paper is going to come out, or I really just don't know where to take it from where it is.

We distract ourselves from relationships because we fear we are losing feelings or we are feeling something different.

We distract ourselves from our friends because we love what is distracting us.

We are naturally attracted to things that will keep us busy. Example: FACEBOOK! Keeps our mind busy on stalking people, and our mind off of the work we are supposed to be doing. CELL PHONES! We distract ourselves from class with this technology that keeps our mind focused on what we think is more important.

How do we know what is more important though Internet? We do what we want- and I think that's the problem. We don't think about the consequences our actions may have- we just do. We get caught up in moments and realize later they mean little to nothing. We take little initiative with the things that we have to do, and a lot of initiative with the things we want to do.

These distractions shouldn't be seen as a bad thing though- if we want to be distracted from something, most likely it's not that important to us subconsciously anyway. Keep that in mind, and just follow your heart <3.

-Miss Optimistic

Be who you are

Hello Internet-

So, I should be writing a 10 page paper, but I feel I have some things to get off my chest before I dive into that.

In life we make decisions, and sometimes we make decisions for other people, becuase we are in love, etc. I made a decision a while ago that I would change who I was for someone, I even took a class for that someone...but I ask you Internet- how is that being me? It's not. I'm changing who I am to be who someone else wants me to be. The fact that it was even stated it had to be done in order for me to be accepted erks me. I shouldn't have to change who I am for someone to accept me, if I am "good enough" or if I am where I'm supposed to be, people will love me and accept me for me.

I told that someone today, I wouldn't change myself if it came down to it. To give you a little bit more information- I am not Jewish, but my boyfriend is. In order for kids to be Jewish- the mom has to be. So, something my boyfriend said would have to happen if we were to get married is I would have to convert. I said it would be no problem, becuase I love him and I'd do anything for him. But lately, I have lost myself in us. I have devoted so much time to him and making sure he's okay and he has what he needs, that I've lost who I am and what I need.

Yesterday I went to Judaism class for the first time probably in about a month and a half. The only reason why I went was to get my final paper, and who would've guessed... the one day I do go they talk about conversion.

In case you don't know a bit about me- I am someone who believes in the Universe, not in God. I believe in fate and that life will take me where I'm supposed to, not God will make sure I get there. I believe I must own up to my own mistakes and make them make me a better person, not go to a minister or a rabbi and have my sins "released" off of me. My "sins" are a part of me. We all are a sin..and it's time we realize this. It's time that we stop asking people to change, and start accepting people for who they are!

When I told my boyfriend today that I wouldn't convert, it's just not who I am. He said, that's fine just understand my family won't accept you. A part of me thought...maybe his family isn't supposed to be mine then. If my religion or lack there of in this case, is the deal breaker with his family...then that's not the family for me. Don't get me wrong I love his family! But, I am not willing to change my beliefs and who I am for them, or him. We are all strong people and we are all trying to find ourselves...we don't need others telling us what to do.

I am so passionate about how I don't have a label on me for religion. When someone asks what are you I say I don't know...and I take pride in that. My one teacher says we all limit ourselves to boxes. White, black, Indian, etc. Homosexual, heterosexual, etc. Jew, Catholic, Buddhist, etc. And I love the idea of not having to check one of those boxes off. Yes I am white, yes I am heterosexual, but I am nothing when it comes to religion. I am me and I follow my heart, and we all should do this.

I am doing what I can to find myself...I'm not doing what will just make me like everyone else, and Internet, you shouldn't either. Be who you are, and be proud of it. You shouldn't want to change yourself, becuase we are all incredible.

-Miss Optimistic