Be who you are

Hello Internet-

So, I should be writing a 10 page paper, but I feel I have some things to get off my chest before I dive into that.

In life we make decisions, and sometimes we make decisions for other people, becuase we are in love, etc. I made a decision a while ago that I would change who I was for someone, I even took a class for that someone...but I ask you Internet- how is that being me? It's not. I'm changing who I am to be who someone else wants me to be. The fact that it was even stated it had to be done in order for me to be accepted erks me. I shouldn't have to change who I am for someone to accept me, if I am "good enough" or if I am where I'm supposed to be, people will love me and accept me for me.

I told that someone today, I wouldn't change myself if it came down to it. To give you a little bit more information- I am not Jewish, but my boyfriend is. In order for kids to be Jewish- the mom has to be. So, something my boyfriend said would have to happen if we were to get married is I would have to convert. I said it would be no problem, becuase I love him and I'd do anything for him. But lately, I have lost myself in us. I have devoted so much time to him and making sure he's okay and he has what he needs, that I've lost who I am and what I need.

Yesterday I went to Judaism class for the first time probably in about a month and a half. The only reason why I went was to get my final paper, and who would've guessed... the one day I do go they talk about conversion.

In case you don't know a bit about me- I am someone who believes in the Universe, not in God. I believe in fate and that life will take me where I'm supposed to, not God will make sure I get there. I believe I must own up to my own mistakes and make them make me a better person, not go to a minister or a rabbi and have my sins "released" off of me. My "sins" are a part of me. We all are a sin..and it's time we realize this. It's time that we stop asking people to change, and start accepting people for who they are!

When I told my boyfriend today that I wouldn't convert, it's just not who I am. He said, that's fine just understand my family won't accept you. A part of me thought...maybe his family isn't supposed to be mine then. If my religion or lack there of in this case, is the deal breaker with his family...then that's not the family for me. Don't get me wrong I love his family! But, I am not willing to change my beliefs and who I am for them, or him. We are all strong people and we are all trying to find ourselves...we don't need others telling us what to do.

I am so passionate about how I don't have a label on me for religion. When someone asks what are you I say I don't know...and I take pride in that. My one teacher says we all limit ourselves to boxes. White, black, Indian, etc. Homosexual, heterosexual, etc. Jew, Catholic, Buddhist, etc. And I love the idea of not having to check one of those boxes off. Yes I am white, yes I am heterosexual, but I am nothing when it comes to religion. I am me and I follow my heart, and we all should do this.

I am doing what I can to find myself...I'm not doing what will just make me like everyone else, and Internet, you shouldn't either. Be who you are, and be proud of it. You shouldn't want to change yourself, becuase we are all incredible.

-Miss Optimistic