Hello Internet:
At a loss for a post today again. I never understood what my older sister meant when she said she couldn't write music when she was happy. It's funny though because I can't remember the last time I was this happy- and I stop analyzing things and thinking. I just live more- go with the flow more.
But, because I am happy, doesn't mean I can't write about that. I went online and found motivational quotes- and one really stuck out to me surprisingly enough.
Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
Leon J. Suenes
I guess a lot of this is going to talk about consequences over all. Because when we all make choices, consequences come with them, whether they be good or bad. My boyfriend is a singer/song writer, and I told him, if he wants it badly enough- he will do whatever he can to make sure he gets it. And it's true. If you want something bad enough, you will do a lot and sacrifice a lot in order to get there.
I am not talking about stepping over people to get where you wanna be, I am saying if you want it you have to make choices. A wise artist : Bruce Springsteen once said, "Talk about a dream, try to make it real." And that is exactly what I am trying to sum up.
Dreaming of happiness and doing something is one thing- but it's the people that DO and make sacrifices that ultimately are the ones that are happy in the end.
So Internet: I ask, what is it you want and what are you willing to do to get it or get there?
-Miss Optimistic
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
What's in three little words?
Hello Internet:
So, as you know my days inspire my posts..and today is going to be a bit different. Something that is supposed to be so pure and such a beautiful thing I want you all to see it from my view.
The three words: "I love you"
What do they mean? I really care, te amo, any other language...(I only know Spanish, haha) there can be so many meanings to these three little words. The people who I have ever said these words to are my family, my dog, and my closest friends. I have said it to one boy, but the thing is, is I said it to him long before we were together when we were best friends. We loved each other, but I was definitely not in love with him.
A wise man once told me, I love you, but I'm not in love with you, and when he said that...it all made sense. I really loved my ex-boyfriend, but I just wasn't IN love with him. I thought the "butterflies" I felt were good, but it was a safety I loved. I was in love with the fact that I could depend on him, that he would "always" be there. I was in love with the idea of being in love with him, and because of that I couldn't Love him.
My point: Why do we use these words? Can we not express our "love" in action? "I love you" I have noticed is taken so lightly. People throw it around like it is nothing. We all feel emotions. Some feel faster than others just like some mature faster than others.
We get so caught up in our words- that a lot of the times, our actions don't follow. People get so caught up in impressing and trying to draw people in. We are all so obsessed with this idea of "Love" that we forget what it actually is.
Coming from a lady who has never been in love, but has used the words lightly- if you don't feel it- don't say it. Those four letters are stronger than you may know.
Love is a strong emotion- it makes people go insane and sometimes do stupid things. If you are in a relationship, and you say I love you to each other- I am not questioning your motives- but saying Internet, do you really mean it? Do you get those fishies in your stomach that swim like crazy? When they touch you does your heart race? Do you smile when you just think about them? Do you realize that you are just better when you are around the person? Do you feel safe in their arms? Think about all the feelings you feel around them and ask yourself- do you honestly feel your in love?
I had no idea what I was looking for- I had no idea what all these things meant, until today. I realized I love my boyfriend. :-) I am no longer just another girl- I am his, and only his. Love comes with a lot more responsibility then we may understand- and I am ready for that. Because even though he's messy, and I'm organized, and he wants to grow his hair out and I want him to cut it, and he smokes and I want him to stop. Somewhere in between the tickle fights and the boring lectures we never pay attention in I have fallen for an amazing guy, and love every minute of it.
So Internet- My point is...don't be in love with the idea of being in love. Just love, and it'll come to you when you least expect it.
-Miss Optimistic <3
So, as you know my days inspire my posts..and today is going to be a bit different. Something that is supposed to be so pure and such a beautiful thing I want you all to see it from my view.
The three words: "I love you"
What do they mean? I really care, te amo, any other language...(I only know Spanish, haha) there can be so many meanings to these three little words. The people who I have ever said these words to are my family, my dog, and my closest friends. I have said it to one boy, but the thing is, is I said it to him long before we were together when we were best friends. We loved each other, but I was definitely not in love with him.
A wise man once told me, I love you, but I'm not in love with you, and when he said that...it all made sense. I really loved my ex-boyfriend, but I just wasn't IN love with him. I thought the "butterflies" I felt were good, but it was a safety I loved. I was in love with the fact that I could depend on him, that he would "always" be there. I was in love with the idea of being in love with him, and because of that I couldn't Love him.
My point: Why do we use these words? Can we not express our "love" in action? "I love you" I have noticed is taken so lightly. People throw it around like it is nothing. We all feel emotions. Some feel faster than others just like some mature faster than others.
We get so caught up in our words- that a lot of the times, our actions don't follow. People get so caught up in impressing and trying to draw people in. We are all so obsessed with this idea of "Love" that we forget what it actually is.
Coming from a lady who has never been in love, but has used the words lightly- if you don't feel it- don't say it. Those four letters are stronger than you may know.
Love is a strong emotion- it makes people go insane and sometimes do stupid things. If you are in a relationship, and you say I love you to each other- I am not questioning your motives- but saying Internet, do you really mean it? Do you get those fishies in your stomach that swim like crazy? When they touch you does your heart race? Do you smile when you just think about them? Do you realize that you are just better when you are around the person? Do you feel safe in their arms? Think about all the feelings you feel around them and ask yourself- do you honestly feel your in love?
I had no idea what I was looking for- I had no idea what all these things meant, until today. I realized I love my boyfriend. :-) I am no longer just another girl- I am his, and only his. Love comes with a lot more responsibility then we may understand- and I am ready for that. Because even though he's messy, and I'm organized, and he wants to grow his hair out and I want him to cut it, and he smokes and I want him to stop. Somewhere in between the tickle fights and the boring lectures we never pay attention in I have fallen for an amazing guy, and love every minute of it.
So Internet- My point is...don't be in love with the idea of being in love. Just love, and it'll come to you when you least expect it.
-Miss Optimistic <3
Thursday, March 18, 2010
YOU are your own best friend?
Hello Internet:
My sister gave me this book called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. Because I was so busy for a while I never got the chance to pick it up and dive in, until this week. Her second chapter jogged me back to last year, when I read "The Secret" and realized, we need to stop worrying so much about other people- and worry about ourselves.
"A teacher visited during this time, and I remember her saying to me, 'When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly too.' I had learned this lesson before, and I knew that it was the only way to go. I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: 'Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.' Somehow, even before I heard the Buddhist teachings, I knew that this was the spirit of true awakening. It was all about letting go of everything. Nevertheless, when the bottom falls out and we can't find anything to grasp, it hurts a lot. It's like the Naropa Institute motto: 'Love of the truth puts you on the spot.' We might have some romantic view of what that means, but when we are nailed with the truth, we suffer. We look in the bathroom mirror, and there we are with our pimples, our aging face, our lack of kindness, our aggression and timidity-- all that stuff."
It's funny when you read this- it's all like yea yea yea tell me something I don't know. But I tell you Internet: Read it again and again, until you feel what she is saying here.
She is telling you yes- it hurts to hit the bottom, she is telling you yes- honesty may be painful, and she is telling us yes- we should be easy-going and just let things go.
But beyond all of that, she is saying look at yourself. Look at who you are and where you came from. Your falls, your strengths, your weaknesses, everything. You can not befriend someone and love someone if you don't love yourself. And when I read this passage, I think I realized why I never really had a boyfriend, nor have I ever felt this thing people call "love". Throughout middle school and high school I suffered more than I ever wanted to. Cutting, weed, backstabbing bitches, lies, people using me, it all just added up into me not loving myself. Every little thing someone did to me, I would look in the mirror and it was like I kept getting uglier and darker.
But, it took me getting hurt the most and having to stand up on my own, and learn to love myself that makes me so loving and open today. As I have talked about in previous posts, the one person who stood by me through everything decided he needed his own space, which I gave, and he didn't think I would have given. A few nights I would call my mom crying, telling her this or that that I just was so upset blah blah blah. And then I remembered the Secret. I remembered how it's not about others- it is about this beautiful creature looking back at me in the mirror.
"When one door closes, another opens." I closed a door to my past, and opened a door to my future. You know it's funny. I came home for break and went back to the unstable environment that got me into drugs and more hatred towards myself, but this time it was different. This time I was "good friends with myself." And each day I went there, each day that went by, and each day that goes by I love myself more and more.
And when I think about it that way, because of the love I give myself, I have opened myself up to an amazing man. My walls are down, and I love every minute of it. I love how he makes me feel, and I love who I am when I am around him. I have never had this before, because I have never loved myself before.
So Internet: What I am trying to say is, although I preach to love and be open to others- you first need to open up to yourself and love yourself. Because without you there will be no story, and there will be no reason. Your life is all you have, and will always have. Live for each day, and remember there should be at least someone who does love you- yourself.
-Miss Optimistic
My sister gave me this book called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. Because I was so busy for a while I never got the chance to pick it up and dive in, until this week. Her second chapter jogged me back to last year, when I read "The Secret" and realized, we need to stop worrying so much about other people- and worry about ourselves.
"A teacher visited during this time, and I remember her saying to me, 'When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly too.' I had learned this lesson before, and I knew that it was the only way to go. I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: 'Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.' Somehow, even before I heard the Buddhist teachings, I knew that this was the spirit of true awakening. It was all about letting go of everything. Nevertheless, when the bottom falls out and we can't find anything to grasp, it hurts a lot. It's like the Naropa Institute motto: 'Love of the truth puts you on the spot.' We might have some romantic view of what that means, but when we are nailed with the truth, we suffer. We look in the bathroom mirror, and there we are with our pimples, our aging face, our lack of kindness, our aggression and timidity-- all that stuff."
It's funny when you read this- it's all like yea yea yea tell me something I don't know. But I tell you Internet: Read it again and again, until you feel what she is saying here.
She is telling you yes- it hurts to hit the bottom, she is telling you yes- honesty may be painful, and she is telling us yes- we should be easy-going and just let things go.
But beyond all of that, she is saying look at yourself. Look at who you are and where you came from. Your falls, your strengths, your weaknesses, everything. You can not befriend someone and love someone if you don't love yourself. And when I read this passage, I think I realized why I never really had a boyfriend, nor have I ever felt this thing people call "love". Throughout middle school and high school I suffered more than I ever wanted to. Cutting, weed, backstabbing bitches, lies, people using me, it all just added up into me not loving myself. Every little thing someone did to me, I would look in the mirror and it was like I kept getting uglier and darker.
But, it took me getting hurt the most and having to stand up on my own, and learn to love myself that makes me so loving and open today. As I have talked about in previous posts, the one person who stood by me through everything decided he needed his own space, which I gave, and he didn't think I would have given. A few nights I would call my mom crying, telling her this or that that I just was so upset blah blah blah. And then I remembered the Secret. I remembered how it's not about others- it is about this beautiful creature looking back at me in the mirror.
"When one door closes, another opens." I closed a door to my past, and opened a door to my future. You know it's funny. I came home for break and went back to the unstable environment that got me into drugs and more hatred towards myself, but this time it was different. This time I was "good friends with myself." And each day I went there, each day that went by, and each day that goes by I love myself more and more.
And when I think about it that way, because of the love I give myself, I have opened myself up to an amazing man. My walls are down, and I love every minute of it. I love how he makes me feel, and I love who I am when I am around him. I have never had this before, because I have never loved myself before.
So Internet: What I am trying to say is, although I preach to love and be open to others- you first need to open up to yourself and love yourself. Because without you there will be no story, and there will be no reason. Your life is all you have, and will always have. Live for each day, and remember there should be at least someone who does love you- yourself.
-Miss Optimistic
Monday, March 15, 2010
Taking it back
Hello Internet:
I came across a quote today:
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
-Mother Teresa
I want to say that if I still judged people the way me and my friend used to, I would not be friends, nor would I be with the man I am with today. My boyfriend said in the beginning, I always thought those smiles were because you thought I was weird, or you felt sorry for me or something like that.
He thought I was judging, when in reality, I just wanted to talk to him and get to know him cause he seemed cool. Had I seen him 5-7 years ago, I would've never talked to him and never wanted to get to know him. But, I am glad things changed, because I could not be happier. :-)
I was watching America's Next Top Model tonight, and this pretty girl, tattoos, lip piercings (snake bites) and a bull ring I forget what that is called, and she got cut. Yet they said in the judging room she has great face blah blah blah. And she said at the end " I wanted to talk to Tyra for just 5 seconds and ask, 'what did you not like about me?'"
And this kinda coincides with another post I think I did a few weeks ago, but it is true. We see weirdness and don't want to be around it. I just wish our world was less judgmental and more full of love.
There are things in this world that are soo beautiful, but people see are so ugly.
So Internet: I challenge you, to not just find beauty in "beauty" but find beauty in "ugliness" and you will be surprised as to what you find.
-Miss Optimistic
I came across a quote today:
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
-Mother Teresa
I want to say that if I still judged people the way me and my friend used to, I would not be friends, nor would I be with the man I am with today. My boyfriend said in the beginning, I always thought those smiles were because you thought I was weird, or you felt sorry for me or something like that.
He thought I was judging, when in reality, I just wanted to talk to him and get to know him cause he seemed cool. Had I seen him 5-7 years ago, I would've never talked to him and never wanted to get to know him. But, I am glad things changed, because I could not be happier. :-)
I was watching America's Next Top Model tonight, and this pretty girl, tattoos, lip piercings (snake bites) and a bull ring I forget what that is called, and she got cut. Yet they said in the judging room she has great face blah blah blah. And she said at the end " I wanted to talk to Tyra for just 5 seconds and ask, 'what did you not like about me?'"
And this kinda coincides with another post I think I did a few weeks ago, but it is true. We see weirdness and don't want to be around it. I just wish our world was less judgmental and more full of love.
There are things in this world that are soo beautiful, but people see are so ugly.
So Internet: I challenge you, to not just find beauty in "beauty" but find beauty in "ugliness" and you will be surprised as to what you find.
-Miss Optimistic
Friday, March 12, 2010
"Follow the Leader"
Hello Internet:
I have learned a very valuable lesson today, just like any other really, but today was different. I am the kind of person to trust too easily. I see a person and I get along with them and the last thing that crosses my mind is that this person would do something to fuck me over.
But, as life goes on and the world gets realer- you have to stop to take notice of how many people just walk their way to the top. A hundred bucks there, three hundred here, oh, I could just pay someone to do it...blah blah blah. The thing about money is, is that people with money (for the most part) are the followers. They watch other people, analyze, observe and make sure they have it down pat. That they do exactly what the people with money do, so they too can have more money and be more successful.
Even though I may come off this sweet innocent "I love everything" kinda girl, the thing I hate most is being taken advantage of. And THE LAST person I thought would take advantage of me some how did. HAHA. All the money his heart desires, all the girls he could persuade to get into his bed, alcohol stocked $500.00 a bottle, his own place, $62,000 car on a school campus, lets get real. We all have our first impressions, but normally I try to see past the uncomfortable I don't know how to act around you's. So that's what I did, he paid for my dinners anything my heart desired was mine pretty much haha, and I met him a week ago.
It's funny though cause when you see this guy with all this money, and everything seems so "perfect" you kinda wanna "follow the leader". It is natural for us all to do, what's he doing so well that I'm not? How does he have this money and my bank account quickly reaches a low balance? Why is he here? What does he do? You start asking these questions, cause you want to know, you want to do that; when life is just so easy and a credit card or a couple hundred bills are folded in our pocket- "life is gooooooood!" :-)
My boyfriend- not the biggest fan of this guy. HAHA! I tried to reassure him: you have to get to know him he's a good guy blah blah blah more bull shit. :-) He told me: "I can't compete with him. I don't have that kinda money".
My response was something along the lines of... "I don't care about the money, this right here, is something that NO MONEY can buy. If you are worried about competing with this guy?! You should be worried about my father, because he knows how to spoil and spend- (IN A RESPONSIBLE WISE WAY)"
The thing we tend to forget is how to lead. Let's think about it...I followed for about a week, I wanted to be involved in this life that seemed so perfect, there were no heart aches, no emotion, it was simple, it was clean, and it was fun.
I just say this Internet: NEVER FOLLOW. And I know how hard it is to just straight up not follow, try not to follow. Because I followed and I trusted him so much, potentially just fucked myself- completely unintentionally.
He's a good guy, but when it comes to it, he just follows all the time! Pays people to do his shit for him, never takes responsibility, and most importantly, blames everyone else for his mistakes. The three most IMmature and ugly qualities I think a person can have.
Luckily, I am honest, I do things myself (how else could one feel accomplished?), and most importantly I own up to my mistakes. As much as I can I lead: I like to show people the life they could be living. To not be so stubborn, open your heart, but not too much.
Just know, you have never lived if you have never hurt.
-Optimistic Voice.
I have learned a very valuable lesson today, just like any other really, but today was different. I am the kind of person to trust too easily. I see a person and I get along with them and the last thing that crosses my mind is that this person would do something to fuck me over.
But, as life goes on and the world gets realer- you have to stop to take notice of how many people just walk their way to the top. A hundred bucks there, three hundred here, oh, I could just pay someone to do it...blah blah blah. The thing about money is, is that people with money (for the most part) are the followers. They watch other people, analyze, observe and make sure they have it down pat. That they do exactly what the people with money do, so they too can have more money and be more successful.
Even though I may come off this sweet innocent "I love everything" kinda girl, the thing I hate most is being taken advantage of. And THE LAST person I thought would take advantage of me some how did. HAHA. All the money his heart desires, all the girls he could persuade to get into his bed, alcohol stocked $500.00 a bottle, his own place, $62,000 car on a school campus, lets get real. We all have our first impressions, but normally I try to see past the uncomfortable I don't know how to act around you's. So that's what I did, he paid for my dinners anything my heart desired was mine pretty much haha, and I met him a week ago.
It's funny though cause when you see this guy with all this money, and everything seems so "perfect" you kinda wanna "follow the leader". It is natural for us all to do, what's he doing so well that I'm not? How does he have this money and my bank account quickly reaches a low balance? Why is he here? What does he do? You start asking these questions, cause you want to know, you want to do that; when life is just so easy and a credit card or a couple hundred bills are folded in our pocket- "life is gooooooood!" :-)
My boyfriend- not the biggest fan of this guy. HAHA! I tried to reassure him: you have to get to know him he's a good guy blah blah blah more bull shit. :-) He told me: "I can't compete with him. I don't have that kinda money".
My response was something along the lines of... "I don't care about the money, this right here, is something that NO MONEY can buy. If you are worried about competing with this guy?! You should be worried about my father, because he knows how to spoil and spend- (IN A RESPONSIBLE WISE WAY)"
The thing we tend to forget is how to lead. Let's think about it...I followed for about a week, I wanted to be involved in this life that seemed so perfect, there were no heart aches, no emotion, it was simple, it was clean, and it was fun.
I just say this Internet: NEVER FOLLOW. And I know how hard it is to just straight up not follow, try not to follow. Because I followed and I trusted him so much, potentially just fucked myself- completely unintentionally.
He's a good guy, but when it comes to it, he just follows all the time! Pays people to do his shit for him, never takes responsibility, and most importantly, blames everyone else for his mistakes. The three most IMmature and ugly qualities I think a person can have.
Luckily, I am honest, I do things myself (how else could one feel accomplished?), and most importantly I own up to my mistakes. As much as I can I lead: I like to show people the life they could be living. To not be so stubborn, open your heart, but not too much.
Just know, you have never lived if you have never hurt.
-Optimistic Voice.
Monday, March 8, 2010
What's the point...if you don't try...
Hello Internet:
Quick post today, I just want you all to think about something. Everything that has meant something in your life, were you given or did you have to work for?
For me, I have always worked for everything that means something to me. I love a challenge, and always have. Whether it be with education, boys, anything. And you know what I realized this last week, I have been stressing and freaking out over too much to do and too little time to do it in. Last night I worked for 12 hours straight, understanding, then not understanding, then figuring out these god damn problems that I have NO idea why I am doing them. I just need to know HOW to do them, haha. Ultimately, I kept dreaming I was still doing these problems and studying the material with my friends for this exam today.
Not that that whole tid-bit matters, but I'm saying, the grade I get on this test will feel so good, because for once in my life I spent so much time ACTUALLY working for this grade, because I do want to excel in this class.
Internet I challenge you to stop taking things so easily. If you want that A on the test WORK for it. If you want that boy's arm around you- go get him! Nothing is stopping us but ourselves.
So I ask you again, What's the point if you don't try?
-Miss Optimistic
Quick post today, I just want you all to think about something. Everything that has meant something in your life, were you given or did you have to work for?
For me, I have always worked for everything that means something to me. I love a challenge, and always have. Whether it be with education, boys, anything. And you know what I realized this last week, I have been stressing and freaking out over too much to do and too little time to do it in. Last night I worked for 12 hours straight, understanding, then not understanding, then figuring out these god damn problems that I have NO idea why I am doing them. I just need to know HOW to do them, haha. Ultimately, I kept dreaming I was still doing these problems and studying the material with my friends for this exam today.
Not that that whole tid-bit matters, but I'm saying, the grade I get on this test will feel so good, because for once in my life I spent so much time ACTUALLY working for this grade, because I do want to excel in this class.
Internet I challenge you to stop taking things so easily. If you want that A on the test WORK for it. If you want that boy's arm around you- go get him! Nothing is stopping us but ourselves.
So I ask you again, What's the point if you don't try?
-Miss Optimistic
Friday, March 5, 2010
Black and White
Hello Internet:
So, I started thinking today while I was waiting in the health center to only get told I have bronchitis symptoms, how much easier life would be if it was black and white. No grays, no hazy white, or dull blacks. Just this is what it is, and this is what I want, and I got it.
The thing is- There are always grays, there are always hazy whites, and there are always dull blacks. I found a drawing today my ex boyfriend/best friend had drawn for me. It was a sunset with a boat sailing into it. On the back, said this is to symbolize you and me moving forward. Our amazing bond will never break, because you and me have something too special. You will always be mine- I want you and no one else.
Something like that.
Funny thing is, is a few weeks after he had sent me that, our relationship deteriorated, and our friendship started falling apart. My heart ached for days and days, this painful throb in my chest never seemed to stop. It pounded with each footstep I took and each breath that entered my lungs. The one thing that kept me holding on for so many years had vanished from my life.
I look back on it, and the only thing that actually kept us together was this "love" we shared. This bond we had where we just knew we literally had no one else. It was only me he could come to, only me he would want to be with, only me he could run to. It was White. It all was angelic and what I thought was this perfect friendship, this perfect love. Once the hazy whites sunk in is when my heart started breaking.
It seems life is much simpler if it is all in black and white, much less painful. This girl started talking to me about this situation with this stupid ignorant boy. Here he let this amazing girl go, and then goes flaunting other girls he's all over in front of her. I'm not sure when this dull black became acceptable in society, but I will say one thing.
The haziest days are always the hardest to pull through, but when we have that white or black to hold our hands along the way it makes it a little easier.
Our hearts are going to ache and hurt regardless of if we want them to. I can tell myself day after day this ex best(boy) friend is out of my mind, out of my life, but with every day my mind goes back to him my heart aches for him.
There is always that hole in our lives, that hazy white, or that dull black that taunts us. That says life is not perfect. But, there is always that one thing that some how magically fills that hole and makes your life pure and white.
I thought my life would never be white again, but my consistent gratitude and my positive mind gave me this gift I now can call mine. This hole that has been filled. Sure, I still have those moments of grays, where life seems so complicated and so incomplete, but my point of this blog post Internet is to show you that although things may seem worse at the time. There is always a better tomorrow that you can create.
-Miss Optimistic
So, I started thinking today while I was waiting in the health center to only get told I have bronchitis symptoms, how much easier life would be if it was black and white. No grays, no hazy white, or dull blacks. Just this is what it is, and this is what I want, and I got it.
The thing is- There are always grays, there are always hazy whites, and there are always dull blacks. I found a drawing today my ex boyfriend/best friend had drawn for me. It was a sunset with a boat sailing into it. On the back, said this is to symbolize you and me moving forward. Our amazing bond will never break, because you and me have something too special. You will always be mine- I want you and no one else.
Something like that.
Funny thing is, is a few weeks after he had sent me that, our relationship deteriorated, and our friendship started falling apart. My heart ached for days and days, this painful throb in my chest never seemed to stop. It pounded with each footstep I took and each breath that entered my lungs. The one thing that kept me holding on for so many years had vanished from my life.
I look back on it, and the only thing that actually kept us together was this "love" we shared. This bond we had where we just knew we literally had no one else. It was only me he could come to, only me he would want to be with, only me he could run to. It was White. It all was angelic and what I thought was this perfect friendship, this perfect love. Once the hazy whites sunk in is when my heart started breaking.
It seems life is much simpler if it is all in black and white, much less painful. This girl started talking to me about this situation with this stupid ignorant boy. Here he let this amazing girl go, and then goes flaunting other girls he's all over in front of her. I'm not sure when this dull black became acceptable in society, but I will say one thing.
The haziest days are always the hardest to pull through, but when we have that white or black to hold our hands along the way it makes it a little easier.
Our hearts are going to ache and hurt regardless of if we want them to. I can tell myself day after day this ex best(boy) friend is out of my mind, out of my life, but with every day my mind goes back to him my heart aches for him.
There is always that hole in our lives, that hazy white, or that dull black that taunts us. That says life is not perfect. But, there is always that one thing that some how magically fills that hole and makes your life pure and white.
I thought my life would never be white again, but my consistent gratitude and my positive mind gave me this gift I now can call mine. This hole that has been filled. Sure, I still have those moments of grays, where life seems so complicated and so incomplete, but my point of this blog post Internet is to show you that although things may seem worse at the time. There is always a better tomorrow that you can create.
-Miss Optimistic
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Spread the word..To END the word!
Hello Internet:
So, today I was walking to get a coffee, and... ran into a couple people handing out flyers. PLEDGE TO SHOW RESPECT TO EVERYONE.
Costs nothing, go to www.r-word.org and pledge to help get the word "retard" out of our vocabulary.
First of all so disrespectful, and second of all- we all do need to start showing more respect for our peers and others around us.
So, today's short post is telling all of you to go pledge...because we need to spread the word to end the word.
-Miss Optimistic
So, today I was walking to get a coffee, and... ran into a couple people handing out flyers. PLEDGE TO SHOW RESPECT TO EVERYONE.
Costs nothing, go to www.r-word.org and pledge to help get the word "retard" out of our vocabulary.
First of all so disrespectful, and second of all- we all do need to start showing more respect for our peers and others around us.
So, today's short post is telling all of you to go pledge...because we need to spread the word to end the word.
-Miss Optimistic
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)