Hello Internet-
I know it's a little late, but I figure I need to honor an incredible man who once had a dream. I came across a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. and it says...
"We may have all come in different ships, but we're in the same boat now." - MLK Jr.
How true is this! There's this girl in one of my classes, and it's almost like she makes others feel bad for the life they had no choice of being in. She's black, a woman, and in the lower middle to lower class. (not that that matters) But the thing I was talking to my friend about is, is that there is almost this reverse discrimination, because of what the "whites" decided to do in the past. I for one had no choice in the color of my skin. I had no choice in the family I was put in, and had no choice in the economic class I was born into.
I think it's time that we let go of what our ancestors did and live. If you are of another color or religion, don't be angry for the history. I know that history is hard to hear. Sometimes, history affected you personally, and for that my heart goes out to you. I don't first hand know how that feels, but I can only imagine. We must all sail in the same direction in order to get to where we need to be.
I have a dream. I dream that all anger will subside. That one day, my baby girl won't be afraid to go to school because of people making fun of her, not because of her skin color, her religion, but because of what she's wearing. I have a dream that one day my homosexual son won't be harassed because of who he chooses to love. I have a dream that we will all come together and just love. That pain will subside, and genuine people will come back to show us how life should be. I believe we can create the destiny that we dream of, just like Martin Luther King did.
So Internet- with this post I am sharing with you my dream, of what I want for my children of the future, and yours. Benjamin Disraeli once said, "The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own." Let us show each other the good we all hold, and let go of the negative.
-Miss Optimistic
Friday, January 21, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Welcome to the New YEAR
Hello Internet-
So as the new year is beginning, and the old one is coming to a close, we need to ask ourselves...where are we going? What is it we want for this year? And, how should it be different than last year?
My goal for this year is to create my own happiness, I've been struggling a lot at school trying to be happy, and with everything that has been going on in my life. I don't know if I have talked about it before, but, a major change happened in my life this past year. I officially feel I have lost a father. Some information was found out that he now has another home, which looks almost identical to the one he used to live in, my home. He also may or may not have been having an affair with his secretary, regardless...what has happened is his business, not mine.
I met with him for dinner after all this information came about, and I told him I just wanted a father. He told me that I had to make an effort to keep in touch too..because this is all my fault that he "works" all the time and can't even answer my phone calls or texts. I tried for a bit, but was so disappointed when I realized that it was all the same. Nothing had changed. I was so hopeful that maybe I could actually start building a relationship with him, where instead it feels that we have drifted even more.
I didn't realize how much the whole situation was affecting me, until a friend of mine pointed it out. I have built my walls up so high again, that it's almost impossible for anyone to break them down. I lost a lot of trust in a lot of people, because we never know what people can do to us. The people we think may never hurt us can. I basically shut down. I stopped talking about things that were eating me up inside, and isolated myself with my boyfriend. Worst mistake I think I have ever made. I depended so much on him to make me feel better, and after 4-5 months of me still feeling the same, it almost feels like I lost faith in him. That I feel he may not be able to help me with situations.
Reality is: I just never brought it up...out of sight out of mind. I didn't want to think about it. I'd be fine and then it would pop in my head and then I'd uncontrollably start crying. It hurt. It ate me alive, until I lost a lot of who I was, who I had worked so hard to be. The vivacious, happy go lucky, everything happens for a reason girl. When I would try to bring it up, he just never understood. His family is always together talking, they are in each others business, etc. When I'm around his family, I can't not be happy...it's a family I've always wanted to be a part of. It's hard for someone to put themselves in other people's shoes- when they haven't seen a lot of disaster in their life.
I've been dealing with a life changing experience all on my own. I've been trying and trying to open up to people, but that trust just isn't there. I'm back to trying to control the world- and it's tiring. I want life to take me where I'm supposed to go, like I did for a while.
With the new year, I want to have faith. I want to enjoy my busy days. I want to let go of the things that have rotten inside of me. I want to be happy Internet, and you should be too. With new years comes a new way of thinking...mine is what it used to be...I'm just going back to the old old way of thinking :).
I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year!
-Miss Optimistic
So as the new year is beginning, and the old one is coming to a close, we need to ask ourselves...where are we going? What is it we want for this year? And, how should it be different than last year?
My goal for this year is to create my own happiness, I've been struggling a lot at school trying to be happy, and with everything that has been going on in my life. I don't know if I have talked about it before, but, a major change happened in my life this past year. I officially feel I have lost a father. Some information was found out that he now has another home, which looks almost identical to the one he used to live in, my home. He also may or may not have been having an affair with his secretary, regardless...what has happened is his business, not mine.
I met with him for dinner after all this information came about, and I told him I just wanted a father. He told me that I had to make an effort to keep in touch too..because this is all my fault that he "works" all the time and can't even answer my phone calls or texts. I tried for a bit, but was so disappointed when I realized that it was all the same. Nothing had changed. I was so hopeful that maybe I could actually start building a relationship with him, where instead it feels that we have drifted even more.
I didn't realize how much the whole situation was affecting me, until a friend of mine pointed it out. I have built my walls up so high again, that it's almost impossible for anyone to break them down. I lost a lot of trust in a lot of people, because we never know what people can do to us. The people we think may never hurt us can. I basically shut down. I stopped talking about things that were eating me up inside, and isolated myself with my boyfriend. Worst mistake I think I have ever made. I depended so much on him to make me feel better, and after 4-5 months of me still feeling the same, it almost feels like I lost faith in him. That I feel he may not be able to help me with situations.
Reality is: I just never brought it up...out of sight out of mind. I didn't want to think about it. I'd be fine and then it would pop in my head and then I'd uncontrollably start crying. It hurt. It ate me alive, until I lost a lot of who I was, who I had worked so hard to be. The vivacious, happy go lucky, everything happens for a reason girl. When I would try to bring it up, he just never understood. His family is always together talking, they are in each others business, etc. When I'm around his family, I can't not be happy...it's a family I've always wanted to be a part of. It's hard for someone to put themselves in other people's shoes- when they haven't seen a lot of disaster in their life.
I've been dealing with a life changing experience all on my own. I've been trying and trying to open up to people, but that trust just isn't there. I'm back to trying to control the world- and it's tiring. I want life to take me where I'm supposed to go, like I did for a while.
With the new year, I want to have faith. I want to enjoy my busy days. I want to let go of the things that have rotten inside of me. I want to be happy Internet, and you should be too. With new years comes a new way of thinking...mine is what it used to be...I'm just going back to the old old way of thinking :).
I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year!
-Miss Optimistic
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